Transcript

Veronica: If you're loving your child free life or exploring the child free choice, take a seat, my friends, because you just found your new home. I'm Veronica, a 48 year old child free coach who is living a happy and confident child free life with my partner, Rick, 

Rick: who's also gratefully child free, 

Veronica: and our dog, Eddie, here in Austin, Texas.

in Texas. My journey towards a child free life was confusing and rocky at first. So if you can relate to the anxiety of indecision, don't worry, because I know exactly how to support you through my program is child free for me the essential guide to exploring a child free life. 

Rick: I'm Rick Veronica's partner.

I'm a 52 year old child free man who didn't realize until later in life that I actually had a choice about having children. And now I'm fully aware that men are an equal part of the child free conversation. 

Veronica: Together, we are on a mission to connect child free people around the world through our private membership community, which by the way, y'all are all invited to [00:01:00] join 

Rick: and celebrate this path with the topics that matter to you most.

Veronica: Think of this podcast as your go to destination for living a child free life that truly lights you up. Welcome to the child free connection.

Rick: So before we started, this podcast was filling up the water and I was putting it back in the fridge and I spilled water all over the floor. I do that a lot and I understand I'm just clumsy. Have you ever been clumsy? No, 

Veronica: no, I've never been clumsy. And you make fun of this. I'm very calculated. I think things through.

I'm very careful. If I think that something has the potential of falling, I'm. 12 steps ahead. 

Rick: That shows you how your brain works. My brain works. I'm also ahead, but when I'm doing something, I don't stay focused on that thing, like filling a jug of water and then putting it back in the fridge. I'm already thinking I need to move across the room to go to the podcast station to set up to start this podcast.

So I'm, I'm putting this in and turning [00:02:00] too early. I need to stay focused on my task at hand. 

Veronica: Right. I know you're reading a book about staying present. 

Rick: We're going to talk about that today. I got things to talk about. You know, I was thinking about this. I was at the gym this morning. 

Veronica: Yeah. 

Rick: And there was something on the TV that made me think about school's about to end.

Yes. Summer's about to begin. 

Veronica: Yes. 

Rick: And I wonder, How many parents, what's the percentage that have anxiety about the fact that their kids are now full time in the household? 

Veronica: Oh, I know. I've had friends deal with this so much and the answer has been summer camp for a lot of my friends. 

Rick: Oh my God. Really? Well, if you can afford it, that's expensive.

A hundred 

Veronica: percent. I've had it. So expensive. I remember talking to, by the way, welcome to the traffic connection podcast. 

Rick: Oh, sorry. Yes. Welcome. We just jumped right in. 

Veronica: We just jumped right in. But, um, yeah, I remember specifically asking one of my girlfriends when we lived back in New York, because her son, Sun when a way to camp for the whole summer.[00:03:00] 

And it was super fancy cause I remember her and I would hang out a lot during the summer cause she was free. She only had one kid and she would get updates, video updates, photo updates of the activities they're doing and all this. All these things and she was just telling me about all these fabulous experiences He was having and I remember looking it up and thinking the amount was insane now, you know my memory So I can't remember but I mean it was definitely over ten thousand dollars for the summer 

Rick: So let's come down to reality for those who can't afford to spend ten thousand dollars for summer Do you think parents that can't afford that have?

Extreme anxiety and maybe a little depression going into the summer. I would, that's why I'm bringing it up and I don't know, 

Veronica: it's a tough call. And also, I mean, I grew up where we didn't have any money. So in the summers to me were really boring. And I know that my parents definitely had anxiety because they both were working two jobs and now they have kids home that they have to think about and worry about.

So yeah, [00:04:00] definitely. So it's possible, right? Cause you have to think of fun things to do all the time. 

Rick: I remember coming home to start my summer. So excited to tell my mom school's over and I can now look back and think she's probably like, Hey, I 

Veronica: want to have the four of you running around all day.

Rick: Exactly. So, you know, I like to begin these podcasts with. Why I'm grateful I'm child free and this one's a doozy, I'm going to say doozy. People say that anymore, by the way? 

Veronica: I don't think so. 

Rick: Okay. Let me take that back. Uh, this one's a good one. And you know, I like to dive deep so I don't go into surface level grateful moments of being child free.

Not that there's anything wrong with those moments. Those are great. But this one is in my orbit a little bit. We don't have to deal with kids going through relationship breakups. That's tough. Okay. I'm so happy. We don't have to do that. I mean, that's like a big, I don't even know if I have the tools personally to give good advice.

I think you do. 

Veronica: Yeah. No, I completely understand. I know why this is coming up for you. We [00:05:00] do have a family member that's going through a really rough breakup right now and yeah, you're right. Having to deal with, uh, Those types of emotions, especially from teenagers when I mean, I was a disaster. I remember being 15 and thinking the whole entire world was over, except I didn't have my parents lean on.

I didn't really talk to them about this stuff. 

Rick: That's true. You had to handle it yourself. It makes you who you are today. Question for you though. 

Veronica: Yeah. Do 

Rick: you remember that first real question? Gut wrenching heartbreak that just tore you apart. 

Veronica: Yeah, I don't think it was a breakup. I think it was a, we broke up, so I was really upset, but I didn't really have people breaking up with me.

Rick: Oh, you were one of them. You were the heartbreaker. 

Veronica: No, no, I just don't mean that. I think that even if you're doing the breaking up with someone, it's still really painful and it's still really hurtful. It's just a little bit different. 

Rick: Was it someone that you weren't able to land as your boyfriend and that's what broke your heart?

Or were you in a relationship and they broke [00:06:00] up with you? 

Veronica: Nobody broke up with me. 

Rick: Oh my God. We must be good to be you. 

Veronica: No, we're talking about high school, right? So no, nobody broke up with me. I think I was just upset that the relationship was over. 

Rick: I have a string of relationships that I was the one that got broken up with.

Well, I'm happy. We don't have to mitigate a relationship. 

Veronica: So today we're going to chat about that. The not so obvious perks of living a choppy life. So we're going to dive into that in a little bit, but something I wanted to bring up to you on the podcast was imposter syndrome because we both suffer from imposter syndrome.

And even when it comes down to this podcast, we're not really sure. 

Rick: What the hell we're doing?

Veronica: We don't know if we should keep doing it and we shouldn't keep doing it. Does anybody care? We can get really in our heads about it. So I just want to, I thought the podcast was a good place to [00:07:00] talk about it. You and I are both getting into our heads way too much about what we're doing here. What do you think?

Rick: I love the curve ball. So I just want to. Start by that. I did not know you were going to bring up imposter syndrome. Imposter syndrome is really tricky because it comes in waves. Like you'll feel really good about what you're doing. And then you're going to be hiding in a corner a week later going, what the hell am I doing right now?

A 

Veronica: thousand percent. And I know that if people are watching and listening, they can definitely relate to this because it happens in so. Pretty much every aspect of life. It definitely happens with relationships. It happens with business, even with my program, with the women in my program doing it right now.

They're doing great. We're moving forward. And then all of a sudden I can just think to myself. And I start spiraling in my head, what if I am not helping them enough? What if they're not getting the support they need? And just all these questions start just floating around [00:08:00] until I am able to shut the noise, right?

And just say to myself and show myself some self compassion, which we can talk about because you and I have been talking about self compassion a lot and say, you are, Creating these stories that are not true, that do not exist. Take a few breaths. And I done that with my program. And I think that you and I started to do it with the podcast a little bit because we started wondering, does anyone care what's the point on all this stuff that was going through our heads when at the end of the day, All we're doing is talking about how much we love our child free life, how much we enjoy our community, how much we want to be there for people who have chosen this.

And really that's it. And we're just overcomplicating it. 

Rick: Yeah, we all do it. We all future travel in our heads. Where is this going? What are we going to be doing? And we sometimes also look back like, what have [00:09:00] I done? How has my past affected my present and how is it going to affect my future? And one thing I'm learning, you have to stay in the present.

You have to stay in the moment in the day because the past and the future. Don't matter back to the imposter syndrome. What I have found that's really helped me is go with my gut and how I honestly feel. I'm not, I'm not going to map anything out. I'm not going to overthink it, but I have to just go with how I feel.

If it comes over complicated and really structured and hard, it becomes less organic. And when it becomes less organic, it feels. Inauthentic. 

Veronica: In reality, we don't have any control of what everybody else is thinking and feeling, but all we really have control of is this you and I and this room and this conversation that we're having right now.

So that's where I am. That's why I wanted to bring it up because you know me, I struggle with perfectionism and I struggle with thinking about the other person and people pleasing and. You [00:10:00] know, wanting to make sure that it's everything is perfect and the best and all of that, when I think that our friends here who are listening or watching are just that, just our friends at this point and it's, and that's all it is.

So I'm happy to move forward without us spiraling into our heads. So I wanted to bring it up because I think that discussing it publicly, A lot of people will be able to relate to because I know we're not the only ones who spiral into the doubt. 

Rick: I was just, we were mind melding. I mean, I was about to say that if anyone that's listening that has this feeling and we all do, you are not alone.

Veronica: Yeah. 

Rick: Bringing it back to you. I mean, you've been through going through a lot. You put a lot of pressure on yourself and I see it. And when you put that pressure on yourself, it overwhelms you and it breaks you down and you freeze, you know, and it's not good for your mental health. So I'm proud that you're aware of it.

Oh, you're going to be okay. You're going to be okay. [00:11:00] You okay? 

Veronica: Mm hmm. 

Rick: Yeah. I know you, I, I see it and I can only do my job as your partner to relieve some of that pressure and not put extra pressure on you and you need to do your part and make sure that you're really working hard to not take on unneeded pressure.

Everyone's going to have pressure. Right. And we had a really good conversation even before this podcast. I didn't know it was going to come up, but I'm happy it did. 

Veronica: Yeah. 

Rick: But, um, you're going to be okay. Yeah, I know. 

Veronica: Absolutely. And I think that for the people that have been listening to the podcast, my, um, mom is, is, was diagnosed with dementia and it's just been a real big struggle.

Rick: Yeah, I know. And it's 

Veronica: just like pouring into the rest of my life. So you're right. I am putting a lot of pressure on myself, but I really love doing this podcast with you. And I, I love having these conversations and I just, I didn't mean to cry. I just wanted to bring it up and say, like, let's just keep going.

However, we're going and however we're doing and just, you know, do our best [00:12:00] and that's all we can do. 

Rick: Well, I am sorry you're going through that. I mean, it's tough. I feel 

Veronica: better. I just had to shave it off. 

Rick: No, I know. And just remember, you know, having kids, we'd have a lot more pressure to handle all this crap that happens in all of our lives.

Veronica: Yeah, exactly. And I do want to bring up that tomorrow is a very, very special day in our home. Tomorrow marks the five year anniversary of you being alcohol free. And I I am very, very proud of you. I am very inspired by you and I am really grateful that you choose to speak openly about your battle with alcohol and how your life has completely transformed since you stopped drinking five years ago.

So I wanted to say an early congratulations. Cause I am really, really excited to [00:13:00] celebrate with you tomorrow. 

Rick: Thank you very much. I've been waiting for five years. I don't know why. It's me. It's like, it seems like a long time. 

Veronica: I mean, I think this whole time is significant. I think a day, a week, a month is significant, but yeah, you have been waiting for this five year mark and you told me that, well, once I get to five years, I'll feel prouder, um, of my accomplishment.

And you definitely should. I mean, I think it's just. It's been an incredible ride to watch you go through this. 

Rick: Yeah. Now I'm excited about 10 years. So there's that 

Veronica: to 

Rick: look 

Veronica: forward to. 

Rick: Once I stopped drinking, there's these different phases during this journey. And I'm in this fifth year phase. Right. Every year is different.

The first year, there's this feeling of, Oh, I don't feel like crap anymore and I feel healthier and I'm going to make all these goals and change my life. Second, third year, fourth year is all different from that. It's not easy. You know, it's reinventing yourself is not easy, but true change is something to be proud of.

So it's less [00:14:00] about not drinking alcohol, 

Veronica: right? 

Rick: It's more about truly changing myself. 

Veronica: Yeah, absolutely. And that's why I said it's been so inspiring to watch. It's been really impressive. It says a lot about your character, about who you are, about your strength, about your confidence in yourself. It's not an easy task or feed and you've done it.

So you should be really, really, really proud of yourself. And I'm really excited to celebrate you tomorrow. And in addition to it being your five year alcohol free anniversary, it is also So Marks the end of our no pizza, no burger, 30 days . 

Rick: I think. I think I'm, I think I'm more excited about that than actually being alcohol free for five years.

Like, gosh, I miss pizza, 

Veronica: so just, I'm gonna throw you under the bus here because you try to. End this weeks for weeks, weeks and weeks record would keep saying, let's just have a slice. Who cares? Let's just have a cheeseburger. Who cares? Is it [00:15:00] really? It's ridiculous. Why are we not having things that we enjoy?

Rick: I just kept thinking again, speaking of in my head, I think, Oh, life's short. Anything could happen tomorrow and I'm not going to have a slice of pizza or a burger. But I do feel better and it's good to have these small micro milestone challenges, which we're also doing in our community, we're 

Veronica: doing inside our membership community.

So yeah, super excited to have the pizza of your choice tomorrow. I'm really looking forward to it. Two things to celebrate and yeah, it's going to be a good time. 

Rick: Yep. That's happening. So I read this article yesterday. Another celebrity couple came out and announced their. Child free life. 

Veronica: Thought 

Rick: it was interesting.

Megan Mullally and Nick Offerman. 

Veronica: Oh yeah. Megan Mullally from, um, Will and Grace. They 

Rick: were citing the fact that their busy careers and desire to prioritize their relationship and personal pursuits was most important to them. And that's why they did that. One of the best perks that we have identified is being able to work on our relationship.

Veronica: Right. 

Rick: [00:16:00] And I just think that is such a crucial one. What are your thoughts? 

Veronica: I think it's. Cool. When celebrities say that they, or they make an announcement that they're, that they're going to be child free because we live in a society where what celebrities say really matters. So it gets all the press, it goes viral.

So the more that celebrities come forward and say that they have chosen a child free life, that they love their child free life. I think it just helps in general. And I do agree with you that their reasonings that you mentioned was, you know, their career and their. Wanting to focus on the relationship is something that we feel as well.

And so do a lot of people in our community. So yeah, that makes complete sense. 

Rick: No, it's great. They're normalizing it. 

Veronica: I don't know if you noticed, but another thing that I wanted to bring up was these parking signs that we've been sharing in our community. Uh, Carrie had posted the first one. I just posted one yesterday because I went to the drugstore.

store. And what these parking signs say is, hold on, let me take a look at mine. So mine [00:17:00] says courtesy parking families with young children. And I think that the other one that was shared was families only. I can't remember. So I'm just wondering if anybody who's listening or watching has seen these parking signs where they're solely for families.

And what do you think about them? I'm just wondering. National thing. If it's a global thing, uh, why are these new? Are these popping out of nowhere? What's going on with these? That's 

Rick: what I was going to ask you. I was going to ask you if they're new. I've never seen them before. 

Veronica: Yeah, I don't know either. So I'm interested to see if any of our listeners have seen these parking signs that are just for parents or kids or families.

Rick: I think one of our members parks in those spots. It's great. I love it. So fun. But I feel like you need to have more than three kids. 

Veronica: Right. To 

Rick: park in that spot. To 

Veronica: park in the front. Because it's basically the convenience of handicap parking because it's right next to it. Oh, it's like [00:18:00] right in front. So you're getting VIP spot.

Why do you think that these exist? 

Rick: Can I put on my conspiracy hat? 

Veronica: Yeah, of course. 

Rick: I think it's pronatalism. 

Veronica: Oh, that's not conspiracy. That's a fact. Yeah. No, no, no, it's 

Rick: not necessarily a fact. I mean, you're basically saying people are putting up these signs to encourage people to have kids so they get a better parking spot.

Veronica: Oh, that's what you're saying? 

Rick: Yes, that's my tinfoil hat moment today. 

Veronica: Oh, I see what you're saying. It's an encouragement to procreate so that you can have a good spot. It's not just 

Rick: about the parking spot. Look at all the perks. If you have kids, you get the tax breaks, you get free parking. front parking, you get 

Veronica: parking.

Okay. All right. I mean, that could be it, but yeah, that takes us right into the not so obvious perks of living a child free life, which you and I talk about all the time and we thought it would be fun to share it on the podcast as well. So, 

Rick: so [00:19:00] excited about these. 

Veronica: Yeah. So the first one that we wanted to bring up is that as child free people, we have the ability to customize.

The layout of our home and what I mean is that for whatever reason, so I know that we did a real, uh, not too long ago talking about what we do with the extra space because people don't understand if we don't have kids, why would you need an extra bedroom? We were just saying that that is such a nice.

Perk to have to take the space or extra room in your house. If you have some and do whatever the hell you want to do with it. 

Rick: Yeah, I completely agree. I mean, it gives you the freedom to do whatever you want in any room. What is, we don't live in a two bedroom right now, so we just have our one bedroom. So we don't have other story, 

Veronica: which we'll share with you.

We will not talk about that today. A lot of behind the scenes development going on with that situation. 

Rick: So let's future travel. Yes. That we said we wouldn't do and have a hypothetical new apartment. 

Veronica: Yeah, this is just hope. [00:20:00] Yeah, to keep ourselves sane. 

Rick: Exactly. If we had a second bedroom. Yeah, 

Veronica: when? 

Rick: When, thank you, when we add a second bedroom, what will you do with it?

Veronica: Well, we've talked about this and this is hard because ideally we want three bedrooms, right? Because I do like having a guest room and we absolutely need an office space where we can work, we can shoot content, we can do this podcast, so we're not doing it in the kitchen anymore. So that's definitely what I'm looking forward to.

It's just having space to do our work and just be able to close the door and go in there and do our thing. I know that people use their extra room. So. for their cats. I know that someone said they have a cat room. People share that they have a sewing room. They have a, remember when we lived in Long Island City in New York, we had the yoga and meditation room.

So that was nice. We had. Candles going and we had a little mini water [00:21:00] feature and we had our yoga mats in there and people just get really Creative with their hobbies and their crafts and their passions with the rooms in their house So that is definitely a perk just to be able to use your extra space in your extra room to really just Play and do whatever you want.

Oh, actually we have, I mean, I'm forgetting a very obvious example. We have one of our very close friends who has the entire room dedicated to her pole because she's really into pole dancing. Yeah, exactly. So we're able to have this perk of choosing what you're going to do with the space in your house. I think that's really cool.

Rick: And a little added perk, it's nice that the stuff that you do buy and you create this wonderful space doesn't get destroyed by children. I got to throw that out there too. I'm serious. I see my friends houses. 

Veronica: Yeah, and also now that I'm thinking about homes, it is also a perk that we don't have to childproof our place.

I don't know if you remember when, uh, when we're living alone and sit in our friend, Billy came over with [00:22:00] this two little kids, he was just on top of them. And because he said that our house was so dangerous, because everything he said we had was 20 and sharp and glass and fragile. Uh, so he was just really laughing at the fact that we don't.

Think about these things. We don't have our outlets. We're out in the open. You know, we just have, it was a complete danger zone for his kids. And I don't really think that they ever came back. 

Rick: I was actually, I remember that. And I remember being so confused. I was just like, really? That's a thing. And at the time 

Veronica: we had this.

Gold leaf, uh, coffee table that was super, super, super pointy on every edge and it had never really it's razor blades. Yeah. It never really occurred to us that that was dangerous until his kid almost slammed into it . So 

Rick: yeah, I'm not good with, I'm not good with mess, as you know. So that's one, that's one of my favorite perks is to be able to have my stuff [00:23:00] in the place that I want it.

And it feel clean and good. Yes. And not get messed up. 

Veronica: Yeah, absolutely. Absolutely. 

Rick: You know, another one I was thinking about that I think about a lot is job loss or financial shifting in your household. I mean, that's just hard enough. But if you have kids that you have to support and something like that happens, I can only imagine where my brain would go.

I think I would panic. I would panic so bad. Aren't you happy? Aren't you happy that we're not in that position? 

Veronica: Especially so much. We have so many friends that are getting laid off right now, and it is just really challenging to get that bit of news and to have such a life change. I mean, you just never know.

We get all these all of a sudden out of nowhere bills. For example, we had one of our friends water heater broke and they thought that it was just going to be a couple of hundred dollars to have their um, Person come in and repair it. It turns out they needed a whole new water healer heater 10, 000 later so it is such a perk to be able [00:24:00] to navigate these crazy financial waters as child free people because We can just keep trucking along like you said without having to worry about little ones 

Rick: And it's just nice, you know, once again, to only have to really take care of ourselves if something were to go wrong, you know, 

Veronica: and we've talked about it in our community before, where as child free people, whether you're single or whether you, or if you're in relationship, it's easier to deal with, you know, if we have to eat.

Cereal and not what we don't really eat cereal, but I'm just picking that up for dinner. We will write and we have to just make a sandwich. We will like it's just easier to focus on ourselves when these life tragedies happen like this. So, and also we have the space to just, you know, So, so, so, so pick yourself up and keep going without this added pressure.

So we love that. We love that for sure. 

Rick: And we don't have to explain when there is a financial shift [00:25:00] in, in the household, we don't have to explain that to the kids. I remember my parents, my dad made a really bad investment and we used to get. Crazy Christmas gifts. Right. And he made this bad investment.

And I remember my mom pulling me aside on Christmas Eve and saying, this Christmas is going to look a little different. And I remember being like, what, what do you mean? So we normally get like eight gifts, each one from Santa, one from your brothers, one from us, one from so and so one from your group, which they bought, obviously, and now you're just going to get one, you're getting one gift this Christmas and I threw the.

Biggest temper tantrum, like a spoiled, spoiled, spoiled brat. But I mean, imagine that, you know, your financial things shift in your household and you've got to, you know, turn to your three kids and say it's grilled cheese and potato chips for the next six months until daddy finds a job or mom finds job.

Veronica: Yeah, no, it is really tough. And I [00:26:00] do remember one of my girlfriends losing her job about two years ago and her daughter was. Graduating so she had to incur all the costs of prom and graduation and the dress and the pictures and the photos. So it was a really, really, really stressful time. So yeah, I agree that this is definitely a perk that we should not forget about.

Rick: What's another one that you would, that you appreciate that is not as obvious as most. 

Veronica: Yeah. Another one that struck me Uh, I remember a couple years ago is privacy because I was talking to one of my girlfriends. She was in the bathroom and her kids were just banging on the door wanting to come in. And she just made a joke that they're having a hard time that I'm in the bathroom talking to you because they're always in here when I'm showering or going to the bathroom.

And I was just so confused. Because I, I don't, it's just not something that I think about that people, little people are following you [00:27:00] to the shower and when you have to go to the bathroom. So I think that privacy is something that. We tend to forget that we have it all the time. 

Rick: That's, that's a good one.

And I always think of the movies too. When there's the couple trying to have sex, 

Veronica: when the 

Rick: kids aren't around, like, Oh, the kids aren't going to be home. Are they? Right. We have 

Veronica: 12 minutes, right. Before we get this opportunity again. Yeah. Privacy is super, super important. And it's something that we probably don't think about enough.

And cause we just don't need to. 

Rick: So what about leaving the house? Quickly on a given moment, just you need to leave, you need to get out of the apartment or house, wherever you're living. 

Veronica: Yeah, that's one that I forget about a lot because we did a reel on this too. And because there was a comedian that talked about this, how child free people, if they want to leave the house, They just grabbed the keys and leave the house and parents have a [00:28:00] completely different experience because there's just so much that needs to be taken care of.

So this is one that I don't think about. Do you think about it? We just leave when we want to go, we go. 

Rick: I mean, we've been conditioned to just leave and that's our normal, but um, now that you brought it up, thinking about. The preparation. I mean, just getting Eddie or dog ready, putting his harness on. I'm just like, Oh my gosh, here's the harness.

We've got to take them out. We've got to get the leash. That to me is overwhelming. Can you imagine like packing? 

Veronica: No, no. Having 

Rick: lunches ready? 

Veronica: No. Making sure 

Rick: that their shoes are on? That they're, they're dressed appropriately? 

Veronica: Yeah, no. No. Not for me. So it is an amazing perk to just be able to say, okay, you want to go?

Let's go. It's just something that we do all the time. We don't think about, but it's an important part to be aware of. 

Rick: Yes, I do love leaving the house quickly. It is my favorite [00:29:00] thing. What's another one? I, I, I love these. 

Veronica: Another one is not having a booked solid schedule. I don't know if. It's so different with women and men, but it's just true because I've seen it with my girlfriends.

I see their schedules. You might've seen it in movies when they have the family schedule, maybe on a blackboard or on a whiteboard, and it's color coded and it's what days is what and what's going on through the weekends. And I think that a perk for us. Just so you know, 

Rick: that's already giving me like anxiety just thinking about all that.

Veronica: And I think a perk for us is that we choose, right? I think it was two weeks ago that you said to me, do not make any plans for us this weekend. I am doing whatever I want. I'm doing my own thing. I don't want to be committed. I don't want any commitments. I don't want any plans. And I said, yeah, sure. That sounds fine.

And. It's a perk to be able to do that because you wouldn't have that perk otherwise. [00:30:00] And it's just so nice to be able to have that option. 

Rick: Yeah. Again, I don't even, I didn't even think about that. That's such a good one. I mean, I need my weekends at time to be completely free and clear of doing. 

Veronica: What if you couldn't have that for eight months?

You didn't have a free weekend, right? 

Rick: Complete misery. Yes. Just completely miserable all the time and complaining and driving you nuts. 

Veronica: More so than you do now. 

Rick: More so than I do now. Being able to block out your calendar. I mean, that was a stressful week and I was just, I needed a weekend to do nothing.

Right. And having to be able to do that. You know, outside of your career responsibilities or whatever, what have you, it's so nice. It's, it's, it is absolutely, we were talking about that on another podcast about how our child free people bored and we reframed it and said, sure, why not? Boring is boring is relaxing sometimes, 

Veronica: right?

Not doing anything. It doesn't mean that. And also not doing anything. It doesn't mean that Boring. You're just not doing anything, but maybe you're choosing not [00:31:00] to do anything. Yeah. So, and the other cool part that I was thinking about was that even with our child food friends, we can easily reschedule with them more so than with our friends who are parents.

So with our child food friends, it could be a last minute, like, look, I had a crazy, I had a day, let's just do tomorrow. There's just an ease and flow with the schedule. 

Rick: I made a huge mistake once. There was a big golf outing I was going to do with a friend and he has two kids and I canceled the last minute and he let me have it.

He was just like, do you know what I had to do to create this? He didn't talk to me for a while. And again, that's naive. You know, you got to remember that people, 

Veronica: yeah, it is understandable. Yeah. Yeah. But for a big event like that, you don't want to cancel last minute. minute. But there is a lot of thought involved and where we can just, uh, not have that kind of complication to our schedule.

So yeah, being able to [00:32:00] just say I'm not doing anything this week or this weekend or tonight, it's definitely a bonus. Another not so obvious perk is being able to listen to the music that we want when we want, whether it's a podcast in the car or a show here in the apartment. Because I was at a friend's house who has kids and they were blasting kids shows and when we were in the car, they were blasting kids music.

So it really makes me appreciate that we can listen to whatever we want to listen to. 

Rick: And you know how 

Veronica: I feel about children's music. 

Rick: Yeah, I know. It drives me crazy. Um, yeah. It drives me nuts. Yeah, I mean, I can't imagine, you know, going for a drive and having to listen to like Build A Bear, you know, is that a, I think that's a thing.

Veronica: No, that's not a thing. That just shows how little we know. 

Rick: Oh my god. 

Veronica: It's a store. Build A Bear's a store. 

Rick: Build A Bear's a store? I thought it was a person or a thing. Build A Bear is 

Veronica: where kids go and they stuff the bear, they make the bear, they dress the [00:33:00] bear. I don't even know if it's in business anymore, but it used to be in business back in the day.

Are 

Rick: you serious? Yes. Oh, Build A Bear. Yes. That's hilarious. I thought it was like Build A Bear. Like there was, there was like a bear named Build A Bear. Wow. That's hilarious. Yeah. I'm not a fan of, I can't stand it. I can't, I can't stand when you go into a Toys R Us, not that we go into a Toys R Us that often, but like when you go, 

Veronica: I think Toys R Us is not a business.

And it has been for a long time. 

Rick: Is it really? Well, this is our world though. If you think about it, I haven't been in Toys R Us because there's no need. And I don't even know that it's out of business because I don't need to know that. 

Veronica: No, absolutely. That's a child 

Rick: free perk. That's a child free perk. You don't have to worry about like what type of cartoon is on trend or what kind of thing.

Right. 

Veronica: Yeah. We have no idea like if you're watching on YouTube or what shows. I couldn't even name a children's show. But anyway, the point is that we can listen to whatever we want [00:34:00] whenever we want. So I think that's definitely a perk. 

Rick: Yes. Very happy we get to listen to our own music and our own podcast and we get to do what we want.

One I want to bring up is that's really important for me is holding space for people that we care about and having that time to do that. Yes. Uh, I just think that's huge. I mean, we were talking about that a little bit earlier with you and you were really opening up about how you just feel this pressure to be there for so many people.

So it's a blessing and a curse. You have to really balance that, you know, to a certain degree. 

Veronica: Yeah. But I mean, I love being able to do that. And I think that we. Talked about it with a lot of members of our community that it's nice to be able to hold space. Like we talked about earlier, we had a member of our family going through a breakup who just picked up and flew here to spend some time with us and we were able to offer up some support during that time.

So just being able to hold space for the people we love, I think it's huge and it's definitely something that we really treasure and care about. 

Rick: And guess what? If you come to visit us like a family member, we have an extra room that's not messy. [00:35:00] We don't play children's music. 

Veronica: We, it's neat and clean. We may have sharp corners though.

Rick: You'll have privacy. If there's some sort of financial issue, you don't have to pay for a hotel because we can, we can hold you up. And lots of other great perks. And that's what this, that's what this is about. 

Veronica: Yeah, exactly. So yeah, it's just another reminder. I think that sometimes even you and I go through day to day life and the people in our community and you don't really realize there's just so much to be grateful for.

Rick: Yeah. I mean, that's why I open up with a grateful moment every podcast because there's just so many of them, you know, so I'm going to continue doing that. And as always, this was an amazing chat. And as a quick reminder, don't forget to rate, review and follow us. We're all about the job, free life. 

Veronica: Yeah, exactly.

And it has to do with what we were talking about earlier, right? When we're discussing imposter syndrome that we definitely appreciate supporting you. But if you could support us back by, [00:36:00] uh, rating and reviewing, it would really, really mean a lot to us. So thank you in advance for that. And we'll see you next week.

Rick: See you next time. Bye. 

Veronica: Bye.