Transcript

Veronica: [00:00:00] If you're loving your child free life or exploring the child free choice, take a seat, my friends, because you just found your new home. I'm Veronica, a 48 year old child free coach who is living a happy and confident child free life with my partner, Rick, 

Rick: who's also gratefully child free. 

Veronica: And our dog, Eddie, here in Austin, Texas.

My journey towards a child free life was confusing and rocky at first, so if you can relate to the anxiety of indecision, don't worry because I know exactly how to support you through my program, Is Child Free For Me?, the essential guide to exploring a child free life. 

Rick: I'm Rick, Veronica's partner. I'm a 52 year old child free man who didn't realize until later in life that I actually had a choice about having children.

And now? I'm fully aware that men are an equal part of the child free conversation. 

Veronica: Together, we are on a mission to connect child free people around the world through our private membership community, which by the way, y'all are all invited to [00:01:00] join 

Rick: and celebrate this path with the topics that matter to you most.

Veronica: Think of this podcast as your go to destination for living a child free life that truly lights you up. Welcome to the child free connection.

Rick: And here we go. Hi, everybody. Welcome to the child free connection. When you first met me, if I actually had that voice, like, I have a buddy, I have a buddy. Would you, would that annoy you? 

Veronica: I'm pretty sure 

Rick: that be, would that be a deal breaker? If I do certain things, when you first met me, if that would have been a deal breaker, a 

Veronica: lot.

Yes, yes. 

Rick: That radio voice would have been, you would have said, you know what? He's a nice guy, but he talks a little weird. And you would have. Not called me back. 

Veronica: Correct. 

Rick: Oh, yeah. Well, 

Veronica: you can't get past that voice. That's why I always say it's a good idea to just Look at things that are bothering you from day one when you're dating Right, if you see a red flag or a pink flag or just something that slightly annoys you 

Rick: flag What's a pink flag?

Veronica: A pink flag is not [00:02:00] like a big warning, but it's Telling you like hmm, you know I should,

Rick: I'm sorry. I've never heard of a pink flag. Should 

Veronica: be on the lookout. 

Rick: This might be a 

Veronica: situation. I need to be on alert for it. Yes. A pink flag. We should be aware of the pink flag as well. And you know why they're important? Because sometimes when we're dating, everyone's always telling you to be aware of these red flags, so we're looking for these like.

Big moments of, oh, that's not, you know, but sometimes it's very subtle. So you need to be aware of the pink flags. Are there 

Rick: any other color flags? 

Veronica: No, I think that's 

Rick: so red and pink. We've established that. 

Veronica: Well, to answer your question. No, I would not have continued dating. You know, 

Rick: good to know. I'm happy. I didn't Do that weird voice.

I'm in a good mood today. I scored a 91 on my sleep score last night. You know what? I was thinking about this. I've got so much to say that there's no way we're going to cover in this podcast. So I've got to like reel it in a little bit. 

Veronica: Oh, no, [00:03:00] that means that when we end the podcast, you'll still be talking to me for another three hours.

Rick: You want to like go get a drink or something for this and I can just, you can just let me rant. 

Veronica: Right. 

Rick: I like to start these too because I always have this hidden agenda. You might know by now, you might have caught on. I have these hidden agendas of things that you don't know that I'm going to bring up.

Veronica: Well, maybe I do too. 

Rick: Oh, the plot thickens. The first one I want to bring up. is doing this 50 push ups in 50 days challenge. Yes. So me and my friend Steve. Yeah, me and my friend Steve are doing this. It's been really fun. It's easy. It's somewhat easy. I feel like you're 

Veronica: almost done, no? 

Rick: We got two days left.

Veronica: Oh, wow. But I'm 

Rick: already thinking of extending. 

Veronica: Okay. 

Rick: But anyway, Steve has a lovely daughter. Her name is Liv and she's really nice and he was just telling me a lot about like all the soccer games are going to and I realized I can vicariously live through Steve and his daughter because I just think she's the best and I [00:04:00] don't have to be a dad.

Do you think people can live vicariously through other people? Not just about, you know, their kids. 

Veronica: Yeah, we do it all the time. I mean, I've done it with my niece and my nephew my whole life. That's the, that's the best part about this whole thing is that we get all the fun perks if we want them, right?

Some people don't want them, but yeah, we get tons of fun perks. 

Rick: That was like a big realization that I had, which brings me to, and you know, I like to start these podcasts off what I'm most grateful for. Lately, there's been a lot, this one popped up the other day and I woke up in the morning feeling a little groggy.

I didn't have to make breakfast for more than me. And you, I, you know, I know, 

Veronica: all 

Rick: right. I was thinking about the fact that if I had to make breakfast and I had to make breakfast for another person, that's really time consuming. And the fact that I don't know how to cook is very daunting. And, um, 

Veronica: And also you want to Create like a well [00:05:00] balanced healthy meal.

So, which is even more challenging 

Rick: and we don't have to worry about it. It's just me. 

Veronica: Yes, on your case, you, because you do not make me breakfast. 

Rick: Oh, my God. I need to step up my game. Okay, I'm going to work on it. I'm going to step up my game in the, in the No, 

Veronica: no, we don't have to. You're not going to work on it.

No breakfast is coming near my way anytime soon. It's fine. 

Rick: What about, does coffee count? 

Veronica: You know what? Coffee counts. You're right. And you do bring me coffee a lot. So 

Rick: there's some 

Veronica: points. And maybe 

Rick: I'll surprise you and take and take it to a next level. One other thing. I'm stealing the microphone real here.

So apologies. Okay. All right. You know, I'm a nerd. So chat GPT 4. 0, it's not 4. 0, it's 4. 0 oddly. It allows you to have full conversations. You can have a conversation like it's a human being. It's pretty on point. I saw the demo for it. It even understands interruptions. So if they're [00:06:00] talking to you, if the AI is talking to you and you interrupt them, Um, it will, it'll stop talking and be like, Oh, I see what you're saying.

It's getting really scary. So it brought up another question I wanted to ask you. Would you feel comfortable having a friend that's AI? Of 

Veronica: course. Why not? 

Rick: Yeah, really? 

Veronica: Yeah, of course. Isn't there that movie that what's his name is in a relationship with his AI from 

Rick: Joaquin Phoenix? Yeah, 

Veronica: Joaquin Phoenix. I mean, I think that that's going to be a thing if it already isn't it that people are in AI, whether it's friendship or perhaps have a girlfriend or a boyfriend or just dating someone.

Um, I think that Makes sense. 

Rick: Yeah, it just kind of freaked me out today because they could be better friends in a lot of ways. 

Veronica: Yeah, of course. And also better partners because the person knows, right? It's like when you and I have a conversation and you forget something, I forget [00:07:00] something. No, I didn't say that.

I said this, you know, it'd be so easy because it could just bring up the transcript. And actually, you wouldn't even get into the fight with in the first place because the A. I would know That something bothers you or you don't like something or what you like. So it would be, 

Rick: that's the thing, that's the thing that's crazy.

It will start to understand your emotions and what your needs are. 

Veronica: I mean, why not? Yeah. 

Rick: It's just really mind boggling. By the way, this is out now. I'm not talking about the future. This just got released. I 

Veronica: know. I think that being with people is always going to have a benefit to it. And being in a relationship with human beings.

And I don't want to take away from the value of that, but I do think that in certain instances and moments of isolation and moments of maybe where you feel that you just cannot find anyone to connect with, like, this can be an alternative for sure. 

Rick: One last question. 

Veronica: Yeah, 

Rick: I don't 

Veronica: think this be the last question.

Rick: If I had created an AI friend 

Veronica: [00:08:00] and I 

Rick: was talking. To this person, 

Veronica: and 

Rick: I was talking to them a lot, would you maybe get a little jealous if this person was like, if I was referencing my AI friend, like, by the way, my AI friend really told 

Veronica: me things this, she thinks you need to do that. 

Rick: Yeah, female voice, maybe, but let's just say, is there a tinge of jealousy that could rear its ugly head within you?

Veronica: Um Sure, I think it would get really weird if you and your AI Stacy were talking all the time and, and, and having having laughs and moments. Yeah, I would get jealous for sure. Wouldn't you? You would. I know you. 

Rick: I don't know. Yes, you 

Veronica: would. 

Rick: I guess I would want to meet your AI friend and then you'd have to meet mine and we'd have to feel a bit comfortable about it, but it's not like it's a real person.

Like, it can get physical or like, try to hit on me or what if it's a male 

Veronica: thing to say? Because there's so many people out there that have emotional [00:09:00] relationships that never even. Kiss or have sex or anything else, but are still completely tied emotional experience. So you're forgetting that that exists and it's very real and it happens very often.

So, yeah, I don't know. Not my favorite. 

Rick: So what do you got? What have you been up to lately? 

Veronica: So I have a Be in my bonnet, as your mother says. My be in my bonnet is, and I wanted to include our friends who are listening or watching in this. For those of you out there who are either, who live with someone, you're either in a relationship, it's a roommate, friends, anyone that you live with that you watch shows together.

Maybe you watch whatever it is, Netflix, Hulu, Apple, everything under the sun. So you and I do this. We watch things together. So if one of us is not able to watch the next episode, we wait for X amount of time. Let's say if all of a sudden you had to travel and you were gone for three weeks, you would [00:10:00] probably say, just go ahead.

Or we would talk about it. Just go ahead and watch it 

Rick: on agreed upon episodes. We're watching together. Yes. You wait, 

Veronica: right? 

Rick: Yes. 

Veronica: You, however, find exception to this rule and continuously break this where you continue watching shows without me, and it really irritates me. 

Rick: I'm going to need an example. 

Veronica: So many.

Are you serious? You do this all the time. You keep watching shows that we're watching. Let's say we're on episode two and then all of a sudden this just happened a couple weeks ago. You're like on episode six and then I'll be like, why did you keep watching it? And you'll say like, Oh, I couldn't sleep or I didn't know if you were interested.

Oh, I thought you were bored with this show completely without asking me. You just continue to watch it. 

Rick: Well, a podcast turned into our first argument on a podcast. Can I [00:11:00] come back at that? 

Veronica: Well, you have to come back at it. You can just explain why you're doing this. 

Rick: Well, okay. First of all, I don't think I'm doing this now.

Let's go back a little bit. We originally had a conversation about this a long time ago. We've had 25 

Veronica: conversations about this. 

Rick: Some shows that I know you're not going to like, and I just go ahead and watch them. 

Veronica: That's not what I'm referring to. I'm referring to shows that we're watching two together.

And then you just keep, ugh, I, I can't think of an example right now because it just happened and you know, my memory sucks. 

Rick: Okay, you're getting upset and I don't want to annoy 

Veronica: you. You're, you really are completely blank. You've been doing this for nine years. You have no recollection of you continuing to watch shows without me and me getting upset.

Rick: I used to. I remember that I did do it and I think there was just some confusion on my end. I don't think it was deliberate. And now I'm trying to think. I'm going to hold 

Veronica: examples. I'm going to start writing them down because this is not going to end. It's been going on forever. Anyway, my question to the people listening and watching is, does [00:12:00] this happen to you?

And if it does, if you're on YouTube, please comment. And if you're listening, please hop into our dams on our Instagram account or just email us directly because I want to know, I cannot be the only person that's getting frustrated with this issue. 

Rick: We can hold court right here. I'm going to need examples.

Veronica: All right. I'll collect examples 

Rick: next time. You know, I'll collect the listeners. Want to hear some examples too. 

Veronica: Sure, I will collect. 

Rick: If there was a jury, which is pretty much our listeners to some degree. Well, this is why I need an 

Veronica: AI because I could just ask my AI, when is the last 27 times that Rick did this to me?

And then we'd be able to fall in love. The 

Rick: AI you're going to fall in love with possibly. All right. What else is going on? Let's change the topic. It's getting heated. 

Veronica: So today we're going to talk about the powerful benefits of having a Chalfeu tribe and you and I relate to this so much because we have an amazing group of friends of Chalfeu friends here in Austin and we also have an equally amazing group of people inside our membership community.

Rick: [00:13:00] Yeah, absolutely. That's today's topic and I am excited to get into that for sure. 

Veronica: I'm also excited that tomorrow we are driving out to Wembley, which is Yet again, an adorable town near here, maybe at 45 minutes away or something. We have, um, two members from our community flying in. They live in the Netherlands.

They're coming in Texas. I think they're in San Antonio or Houston. I can't remember where they're going to be, but we're going to meet. In this town, and we love doing that and our community members do it all the time. It's so fun to have people visit and be around our area and just meet up with them in person.

Rick: In person meetups are the best. I actually just updated our map for our community and there's just so many more states that have been added. And I hope people start to meet up. I know we have a lot of meetups, but I'm excited to meet Mar who is our fitness coach or our fitness health 

Veronica: and wellness.

Captain, well, 

Rick: wellness, health and wellness, I can't do anything right. You're going to win today. All right. I'm sorry. I [00:14:00] apologize for watching 

Veronica: me by watching shows. 

Rick: Yeah, I apologize for, I apologize for not. It's bringing you breakfast properly ever. I want, I want to apologize and I want to, I want to start over and have a clean slate as of right now.

Can we, can we do that? 

Veronica: Yes, my deepest 

Rick: apologize to you, but no, no. Mara's great and her husband's coming too and I'm excited to meet them tomorrow. It's going to be a lot of fun. 

Veronica: Yeah, I'm really excited to go and it's so nice. It's going to be the middle of the week and just take a little trip out to a cute little town.

I'm looking forward to it. Also, uh, I started my new group of Is Child Free For Me this past Sunday. And once again, I have an amazing group of women. I just feel so lucky that these women just end up in my My universe. It takes a lot of courage to step forward and say, I'm not dealing with this anymore. I can realize that I'm stuck and I'm not moving forward.

And I'm actually going to take [00:15:00] some steps to help myself out. So congratulations to them. I'm excited. And also inside our membership, we are in momentum. May momentum, May 

Rick: momentum. Oh 

Veronica: God. Where are we going to argue this whole time? 

Rick: No, I already apologize. This is May momentum month. It's very strong. That title may momentum.

Okay. It's got me energized. May momentum. 

Veronica: All right. We're in may momentum, which is really exciting. I know it's. Just feels really good. It's getting, getting us ready for summer. It's a good time to, for transition and change. And during our live meetup on Saturday, we were talking to everyone and we introduced our 30 day challenge where all of us are going to do a micro milestone.

Stone achieve a micro milestone in a 30 day period. So I wanted to just mention it to our friends here too, in case they just want to join us as well, because you'd be surprised what you could get done in 30 days. 30 days is a really long time. 

Rick: Yes, I'm really [00:16:00] excited about too. And it's fun to say may momentum micro challenges.

Micro milestones. Here are some of the examples. Galea is hydrating and drinking one and a half liters of mineral water each day. Liz is working on learning Italian, taking two Italian lessons a day, four days a week. Incredible. Samantha is committing to not eating meals in office while working. Rachel is starting a 30 day magnesium.

foot soak challenge. I'm intrigued by this. And so ran says that he is going to hike or trail run at least one time a week every week for one hour for both physical and mental health benefits. Yeah. 

Veronica: I mean, there's so many in there. And what I liked about it was that as people were writing them down, other people jumped on their ideas as well.

Also in Saturday's meetup, we brought up That article that I share with the community and it's called, I joined the child free movement and discovered it's dark side and it goes with [00:17:00] today's topic. And ironically, we were going to talk about this topic anyway. 

Rick: So explain a little bit what the gist of the article was about for those who haven't read it yet.

Veronica: The author says that she was really on the fence about whether she wanted to have kids or not. So she went ahead and joined. Some child free facebook groups and she said unfortunately I quickly came to realize that these child free groups were not spaces that I actually wanted to be in And she shares her personal experience first growing up and says that I know all too Well the judgment and scorn that some people face when they have children Because she grew up with a single teen mom and experienced Experienced ridicule and rumors about her family from neighbors and kids in school She also says I had a hope that we had left behind that sort of classist Slut shaming in another era, but now joining these child free by choice groups.

I felt like it was happening all over again So she bases this on the comments the [00:18:00] comments were according to her She Felt they range from being misinformed and annoyed all the way to aggressive and outright dehumanizing. And I did read, I know that you did too. Go ahead and read some of the examples that she shared and they were really hard to read.

So after joining these child free by choice groups on Facebook, she left them. I think it's fair to say, and Adora from our community pointed it out that pretty much every group. Out there has somewhat of a dark side or shady underbelly. Do you agree? 

Rick: Yeah. Yeah, I would agree. But on the other side, you can have your own child free tribe that is loving and supportive and has everything that you need.

Veronica: Right. Absolutely. 

Rick: So let's get into it. Powerful benefits of a child free tribe. Let's unpack this. I 

Veronica: don't even think we can start this conversation without highlighting the power of feeling like you belong of belonging. And I [00:19:00] think that that's. So, so, so important because oftentimes, and I know this was the case for me, you start to feel like you don't belong.

You start to feel like an outcast. You're outside of the circle. You're maybe not getting invited to things. You're not able to celebrate the same things that your friends who have kids are celebrating. So being around friends. Friends where you feel like you 1000 percent belong is huge. 

Rick: Do you remember the inflection point when that happened to you, where you felt like you didn't belong?

I do. 

Veronica: I 

Rick: do. What was it? 

Veronica: And it's weird. It's one of those things. Cause you know, my memory sucks and I don't remember anything. I remember, and it's freaking social media all the time. I remember a Facebook post where one of my very good friends was posting picture from the weekend where they had this. Big barbecue in her backyard and pretty much all my friends were there with kids cause it was her kid's birthday [00:20:00] and I had no idea about it.

I didn't even know it was happening and it just felt Strange. It felt really, really strange. 

Rick: And you felt left out. I didn't even know 

Veronica: about it. And it was weird because all my friends, my good friends were on all these pictures and then as I'm going through them, I'm like, Oh, they didn't tell me because I don't have a kid to bring.

So yeah, I definitely remember that. 

Rick: Yeah. I will say though, when, when my friends started having parties for their kids, I never felt left out. I was like, Oh God, thank God he didn't invite me to that. 

Veronica: Another really cool part about that. this is that our lifestyle is in flow in harmony with one another because we just do life differently.

Our weekends look differently. Nighttime looks differently. Our vacations are different. Like for example, me and you, we like to only vacation when kids are in school so that we don't have to deal with the family. So you're able to share that with your friends and you're all on the same boat with a lot of things.

Rick: And I want to [00:21:00] focus on the word flow. I love that because I'm in this state of flow where I'm pushing myself to be in the state of flow right now. Cause I've been 

Veronica: on the bank of the 

Rick: river floundering and I'm now kind of getting back in the river in flow. And what I'm realizing is that when I'm in flow, things behind me are following and I don't have to search for them.

Veronica: Yes. And that's. 

Rick: goes for child free conversations and child free connection as well. When I talk to someone that doesn't have kids, it's just an organic flow. It just happens naturally. A lot of topics align and it just makes sense. 

Veronica: Yeah. There's so many things. There's your interests, your hobbies, your passions, everything just starts coming together.

Coming together. And it also doesn't make us feel back to belonging when you're sitting at a table of all people that are parents. The conversation usually goes to how are the kids doing right? Because I find myself saying sometimes. And how are you? Because I want to bring the conversation back to them.

So, yeah, I understand what you're saying by this. really cool to feel that [00:22:00] way. 

Rick: I love harmony and flow. 

Veronica: Another thing that I really like is being able to share wisdom and resources with one another, because I think it's really important. I didn't have child free people in my life that were older than me.

So I super, super enjoy being an older child free. I'm going to put that in quotes, child free woman, because I can share my I have some wisdom around it because I've been around the block so many times. Do you feel the same? 

Rick: I feel like I don't offer a lot of wisdom, I would say 

Veronica: generally. 

Rick: I do. That's always a struggle for me.

I think I leave that to you. I think you're more of the wiser one out of the both of us, but I do appreciate a good resource. And I have an actual example of this recently. And I want to understand why no one taught us this or I didn't know this. I was poisoning myself on Brazilian nuts and someone on Instagram wrote, make sure you don't [00:23:00] eat too many Brazilian nuts.

This is someone from the 

Veronica: chum one. We had a million messages over that, that you posted a story. 

Rick: You posted a story of me like, and I used to get bags 

Veronica: yourself with Brazilian nuts. 

Rick: When did this become a thing where you can't eat too many Brazilian nuts? 

Veronica: I know. I didn't know either. So I'm glad that our community told us because I had no idea and I passed it on.

And you know, what's funny. I saw the Brazil, Brazil nuts, not Brazilian nuts. I saw the Brazil nuts on the counter yesterday and I was like, I hope it's not. Shoving them into his mouth. Are you kidding me? I mean, 

Rick: literally our tribe saved my life because I was eating handfuls of them and I now for I'm like, okay, I treat myself to four.

By the way, I'm saving a lot more money, which isn't just nice, but yeah. Yeah. Okay. So back to that. Like, you know, again, I was joking about the wisdom. I mean, there is a lot out there, but you know, I think the resources are so important. Yeah. And sharing 

Veronica: also [00:24:00] where to go, where to travel is huge because they're like, for example, with our child free friends here, remember, I can't think of the name, but we went to that.

Um, right after COVID we all found that resort that we drove to, it was like two hours away and they had a child free. Pool and whole entire area of the resort. And we were all so excited. And the first couple I came back told the other couple until the other couple when we pass it along to all our child free friends, like you have to go with this.

There's a child free pool. So yeah, resources, wisdom, all of it. It's amazing to be able to pass that on. And of course, there's all the support that we receive from a choppy friends and that we offer to choppy friends, choppy tribe, choppy community. And the support is on both sides, right? Because you can.

Celebrate. You can support someone by celebrating them and their accomplishments. And you could also support your chubby friends that are struggling. Like for example, we just had mother's day recently, and there was a couple of women in our community [00:25:00] that were, Just, you know, they're, they're newer to the choppy life or maybe have been in the choppy life for a little bit, but mother's day triggers them.

And we all chimed in and shared some of our own experiences and examples of how we look at this at this day. So that was really helpful. It's nice to be able to do that for one another. 

Rick: And I don't think it's a secret that I struggle with navigating life. So when it comes to support, I think I'm very, I'm very grateful.

I recognize it often when it happens and I embrace it wholeheartedly. 

Veronica: It's nice to have people cheering you on. It's nice to have people say you can do it like all that stuff. It's just really, really super good. And especially when it's a group of like minded people who are living your exact same same life and understand that there are certain things that are a big deal for us, child free people and may not be a big deal to some of our other friends.

And 

Rick: also they relate to it, supports a huge one, of course. 

Veronica: Another big thing is the impact that it has on our [00:26:00] overall wellness. And you and I talk about health and wellness all the time. And I read so many articles. So it's been pointed out to me, I took my mom to the doctor recently and he was saying how important, especially now that she has dementia, that for her brain health and her brain cells and just her overall health is for her to be in community.

But I think that just having a tribe. Being in community in general is just so, so beneficial to our mental health and also our physical health, because I know that we were talking about it the other day when I read it to you, um, we read that article that was saying that it helps improve your cardiovascular system.

If you have a tribe or a community around you, do you remember this? 

Rick: Yeah, I remember it and it was really shocking. I think in general, I didn't until recently realize how important community is to your overall health in so many ways. And it makes sense, you know, I mean, it's up there. It's up there with exercise, nutrition, 

Veronica: stress [00:27:00] level.

Yeah. 

Rick: Yeah. Yeah. It's, it's part of the main component to keeping a healthy lifestyle is community. I never really factored it in. It's amazing how like it's listed as a top priority. 

Veronica: Yeah. And this is why it's so important that oftentimes when our little inner circles Starts to break apart and we feel isolated, we feel alone.

It's really important to start building that up, which is why we're always pushing it on this podcast. 

Rick: It's just so important to be present with other people and it's a better benefit when it's like minded people, like the child or like a child free tribe. So that's great. 

Veronica: Another thing that I noticed, and this happened at dinner about a week ago, and it also happens inside our child free community, is that when we mention certain situations, it feels very safe and very freeing, right?

We can say something without having to feel judged or criticized because we've seen people comment, Oh, I would never. Say this to my [00:28:00] friends that are parents because they would take it the wrong way. Right. You know how some people say that you're bragging. If you're talking about your lazy Saturday and you're just taking your time and you're having coffee for three hours, but we're all doing that.

So it doesn't feel like bragging. So you could just really, you're in a safe space to say whatever you want. So it's nice to have this little like safety net. 

Rick: Yeah. I mean, I. Definitely feel that, you know, it's, I can be more authentically me, I think in the past I was always trying to be something for something or somebody, whether it was my career.

Let me 

Veronica: just tell. Oh, sorry. I cut you off. Cause I just wanted to tell people that who Rick wanted to be was Johnny Depp from 21 Jump Street. And there's so many of you. Listening or watching, we'll have no idea what I'm talking about, but if you Google Johnny Depp and 21 Jump Street, this was Rick's dream.

Am I correct? I don't think I wanted 

Rick: to be Johnny Depp. Oh, no? No, and we [00:29:00] have talked about this before. Oh, was it Richard 

Veronica: Graco? Oh my god, 

Rick: it wasn't anybody. It was, I wanted to be the mystique of the cool bad boy, right? I don't The mystique of being a cool bad boy was something that I thought I needed to be to be authentic and be like, you know, have friends and have a successful life.

You wanted a leather 

Veronica: jacket, you wanted to be smoking a cigarette, maybe have a motorcycle. 

Rick: I mean, who did? But you know, I mean, a lot of people did, I would think. But my point is, is that It's as hard as I tried, no matter what I, however I styled my hair, whatever kind of clothes I wore, whatever type of mode of transportation I had, there's no way I was pulling that off.

And I wasn't living my authentic self. And back to what I was saying, you know, you know, being, trying to be. Somebody else for something or somebody is just [00:30:00] not going to work. Like in my career, I made the mistake of doing a lot of that. You know, I was trying to be this person that I wasn't and you lose touch of who you are and then if you lose touch of who you are for too long, it's hard to come back from right, 

Veronica: right.

Absolutely. And I think another, another thing that I just thought of of this is that it's really important that. When you're surrounded by a child feed tribe, you don't feel like you're walking on eggshells and nobody likes that feeling of watching what you're saying, what you're doing, how you're reacting.

That just all feels really icky. So I love that. 

Rick: Yeah. 

Veronica: To be in a safe space. 

Rick: And to fast forward to now, it's really great that I do feel more comfortable in my own skin. I am living my authentic self. I'm embracing my dorkiness and my over the top craziness and neuroses. And you, well, you've got a long list if you want to go ahead and break it out.

But the point is, is that, you know, I think I feel so much happier and better. Because, you know, and having the tribe around me to [00:31:00] embrace that and not judge it is fantastic. And chances are that when I was trying to live this inauthentic life, you know, no one really noticed, but me. People were probably just like, okay, that's right.

But I knew inside I wasn't feeling good. 

Veronica: Right. Absolutely. One last thing I'll mention is having a sense of purpose and meaning, because I think it gets thrown out at us. At us all the time as Chelsea people, like, what is your purpose? What is your meaning? But for me personally, whenever I am in a tribe, in a community, um, I, I feel so fulfilled.

I feel fulfilled by being surrounded by like-minded people. And I think that's another great, really cool aspect of being surrounded by a Chelsea tribe. 

Rick: Yes, I couldn't agree more. And there are so many more powerful benefits of having a child free tribe. Yeah. Yeah. They 

Veronica: pop up for us all the time. And by the way, obviously.

If you're watching or listening to this and you don't have child free friends, you don't have a child free circle, child free tribe at home, please know that we will welcome you into our membership community with open arms [00:32:00] because that's what we're there for 

Rick: where we practice all these benefits. 

Veronica: Yes, 

Rick: we celebrate all these benefits.

And before we go, don't forget to follow rate podcast. It helps reach people and more people can enjoy this conversation. 

Veronica: Thanks for the review reminder, because we always forget to remind people. And it is such a beautiful sunny day here in Austin. So I am gonna go down to the pool and lay out for a little bit because I love 

Rick: that for you because 

Veronica: I can't, Isn't that 

Rick: annoying when people say that?

I love that for you. Every hate that 

Veronica: phrase. So 

Rick: I do , I really enjoyed this topic and it was great talking to you as always. 

Veronica: Yes, you too. And now I'm off . Goodbye en 

Rick: Enjoy. Bye bye.