Transcript

Veronica: [00:00:00] If you're loving your child free life or exploring the child free choice, take a seat, my friends, because you just found your new home. I'm Veronica, a 48 year old child free coach who is living a happy and confident child free life with my partner, Rick, 

Rick: who's also gratefully child free, 

Veronica: and our dog, Eddie, here in Austin, Texas.

My journey towards a child free life was confusing and rocky at first, So if you can relate to the anxiety of indecision, don't worry because I know exactly how to support you through my program is child free for me, the essential guide to exploring a child free life. 

Rick: I'm Rick Veronica's partner. I'm a 52 year old child free man who didn't realize until later in life that I actually had a choice about having children.

And now I'm fully aware that men are an equal part of the child free conversation. 

Veronica: Together, we are on a mission to connect a child. free people around the world through our private membership community, which by the way, y'all are all invited [00:01:00] to join 

Rick: and celebrate this path with the topics that matter to you most.

Veronica: Think of this podcast as your go to destination for living a child free life that truly lights you up. Welcome to the child free connection.

Rick: Here we go. I have high energy. I'm really going to bring it today. I've been just full disclosure, struggling a little bit, so I'm trying to get my energy going. It's been a long day. We're shooting this much later than we normally do. 

Veronica: Yeah, we are. And it's been really gloomy in Austin again, which is surprising because it's normally so nice and sunny here.

So I think it's really affecting our mood, but I'm actually in a pretty good mood today. Um, well, besides you telling me how to, I have my mic correctly before we have 

Rick: OCD and your mic was like a little bit to the left. I know. 

Veronica: I know. All you 

Rick: need to do is just straighten it just a bit. 

Veronica: I know, but this is my podcast face and 

Rick: I respect your side of the [00:02:00] podcast, but I just want to let you know that if I didn't mention it, it was going to bother me and it might affect my flow of conversation.

So that's why I did it. I get 

Veronica: it. All right. Does it look good? Are you feeling good? It looks great. You look great. I'm 

Rick: excited. Let's get into it. I want to start off with something that I'm grateful for. You know, I'd like to start off some of these podcasts with that gratitude. I'm grateful for that. I don't have a teenager that is reckless and does stupid things.

Veronica: Are you grateful for that? Yeah, I'm grateful for that. All the time, first of all, because we were both probably, I mean, every teenager is right? Like not, of course we've 

Rick: all been there and done stupid things. I'm just happy that I don't have to relive it again with 

Veronica: so many of our friends have teenagers.

So I get these, I mean, you might not get them as much as I do, but I get the teenage stories, like one after one after after another. So yeah, I'm very familiar with this whole phase and how stressful it is to have a [00:03:00] teenager. 

Rick: Yeah. And let me bring up why this came to mind. I was on the internet. I was looking at news stories or whatever.

And apparently in Florida, there's this thing called the Boca Bash, where a bunch of people take out boats and party on the ocean. Right. That's fine. But someone captured video of one of the boats. Of 18 people on the boats. Some of them were teenagers. Some of them were adults actually. And the video is them standing on the back of the boat, taking a huge garbage can full of empty beer cans and trash and everything, and just literally hurling it over into the ocean on the side of the boat.

And I thought if that was my kid that was doing that, the problem and the issues and the embarrassment that I would have, 

Veronica: Oh my God, I would just 

Rick: threw the roof. 

Veronica: I would be that mom that everyone's embarrassed of that would go pick up the kid from jail or wherever they are and just grab them by the ear and drag them outside of a place because I would just be so upset at this behavior.[00:04:00] 

Rick: I mean, there was like a pile of garbage behind the bar, just waiting behind them and just, it was like, are you kidding me? And there's a bunch of people around. Do you don't think someone's going to take notice? They were arrested by the way. All 18 of them were arrested. Good. 

Veronica: Yeah. Yeah. I mean, you know the story.

I had a friend of mine, uh, I believe it was last summer. Just tell me a story. It's very similar. Um, nothing to do with the garbage, but just with her teenager in the middle of the night, getting the phone call three o'clock in the morning, she has to drive out because there's a whole situation going on with.

Cops getting involved and just a lot of stress, a lot of anxiety, very scary. And yeah, I am, I agree with you. I am so grateful that that is not something that we need to worry about, which is interesting. And it goes with today's topic where we're going to talk about this question that we get all the time.

And you and I actually got this question. We were at a bar, we met another couple and the other couple had kids and we were just, you know, chatting along and all of a sudden the woman says to us, I [00:05:00] just have to ask, what do you do with all your free time? 

Rick: Oh, we get that so much. It's crazy. 

Veronica: And we get that all the time.

And people just assumed they're like, what are child people do? What are child free people do? What do they do? What do they do? So I'm not even going to start getting into it now cause there's so much to say, but that's what we're going to be talking about today. 

Rick: Spoiler alert, we're a lot busier than most people think, I'll say that, um, we'll get into it, 

Veronica: we'll get 

Rick: into it, but I do want to bring up a couple things that we've been up to, we went to, uh, Nate Berghazi, and I'm not a big fan, and you asked for this for your birthday, and I want to thank you for asking for it, because 

Veronica: you're Tickets and he's a comedian.

Yeah. In case people don't know. Sorry. Sorry. Nate 

Rick: Bregazzi is a comedian and he's very funny. And now I'm a huge Nate Bregazzi fan. Hilarious. I'm like watching other Netflix specials he's done. I mean, I know I'm in the minority here because a lot of people think he's funny. Yeah. But how tight his set [00:06:00] was and how it was like rapid fire jokes over and over.

I mean, it was, I was laughing the 

Veronica: whole time. Yeah. I mean, it was incredible. He was so funny. So, so funny. I would definitely go see him again. If you're thinking, if you never heard of him, definitely check him out. And if you're thinking about going to see him, just go because it was a fun night. I was really glad that we did.

It was such a good time. 

Rick: Yeah. And then doubling down on the fun. We recently went to a small town with our friends and that's the great thing about Texas. We can explore these small little towns. We feel like we're not even in Austin. 

Veronica: Right. And close. 

Rick: Yeah. And it was like 20 minutes away and you wouldn't, you would think you're a hundred miles away.

It's really 

Veronica: weird to me, especially as a New York city girl to travel such a short distance and really feel like you're in the middle of nowhere with this tiny little town. I love 

Rick: it. I love 

Veronica: it. It's incredible. I mean, I love it too, but it's just so. It's, it's weird to me. It's hard. It's, it's hard for me to imagine, you know, coming from New York City and having that experience, but the town was adorable.

Our friends were [00:07:00] staying there for the weekend. So we went to go meet up with them. And it just reminded us of how fun it is to just get up and go and be spontaneous and say, yeah, we'll meet you because I think that we're a little bit nervous about asking us because they didn't know if we were going to want to go to some random town and meet up with them.

And I was like, yes, yeah. I want to. I love it. I love doing that. I was too. 

Rick: Yeah. We both were. We were both on 

Veronica: board. We got in the car and we went. So yeah, it's just amazing to be able to do stuff like that all the time. So 

Rick: you've been a city girl, right? You've lived in New York. You now live in Austin. Yes.

Could you ever see yourself living in a town where I think there's only 16, 000 people in town, which might be big for a lot of people. Yeah, I know. I know. I'm just, yeah. 

Veronica: Yeah. But 

Rick: it feels very small. 

Veronica: Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I'm yeah, I looked at the 

Rick: population. 

Veronica: Oh, is that what it is? 16, 000. 16, 000. 

Rick: Yeah. 

Veronica: Oh, okay.

So, um, I mean, it feels so tiny, so I guess that's not really that big. Yeah. It depends on what you're comparing it to. Could I ever live in a place like that? 

Rick: Hmm. 

Veronica: I think I could because I am at the [00:08:00] point where. I'm willing to try whatever I think when I was younger because of societal expectations and because of you're supposed to do life in a certain way, 

Rick: it 

Veronica: was very much like back in the day.

I remember you had a job, you were supposed to hold on to it and get that 30, 40, 50 year. Corny prize at the end, you know, the gold watch, the knife set, some people might not even know what we're talking about, but that's really what it was like. And it was the same thing as far as purchasing a home, you moved and you were there to raise the kids.

You saw your kids grow up, your grandkids came to visit. And I don't feel that way at all. I don't feel attached since we moved. From New York to Austin, I no longer feel attached to a place. I am very open to trying something new because I know that it doesn't have to be forever. 

Rick: I'm shocked. 

Veronica: You are? 

Rick: Yeah, I mean, I'm not, I'm [00:09:00] not shocked at what you're saying as far as taking some chances moving to different places, but the fact that you could live in a small town where there's really only, you know, after a month or two, you pretty much are going to go to every store from what we saw 

Veronica: a day, a weekend.

I think we did go to every store. 

Rick: I think, I think we did the two hours we were there. The 

Veronica: main street is I think two blocks, three blocks. So no, I get 

Rick: that you, you want to try new things. We have the freedom as child free people to go and like, we want to go be expats or whatever we want to do, we can do it.

But the fact that you could, you won't get bored. 

Veronica: No, see, here's the thing with me. And I thought about this a lot and you know that I'm an extrovert and we'll talk about boredom too. And I'll, I'll, I'll explain it now, but this is also part of our topic about what we do all day for me. It's more about people than options of places to go.

So let's say I only have 5 [00:10:00] places to choose from as far as going out, but I have a little group of people and it doesn't have to be a large group of people, right? I have 3 or 4 or 5 friends that I. Regularly hang out with I prefer that over living in a giant city with all these options and really just being close to, like, 1 or 2 people who may or may not be around.

So, for me, it's more entertaining to have people than be in a big city. But having said that, if we moved to a small town in the middle of Texas, we wouldn't know anybody. So that would definitely concern me and you know, set off my alarms a little bit. But I think for me, it's about people because if you really think about it, we go to the same places a lot.

Like we have our favorite five spots that we hit. So I don't know. Would it be any different? 

Rick: Yeah, for me, it's different. I have to feel like I'm close to a lot of options, 

Veronica: even if 

Rick: I don't take advantage [00:11:00] of them, I feel like I need to have them. And I never do. I just want to be able to say if I get really, really bored today, and I know we're going to get talking about that a little bit, but If I get really bored today, 

Veronica: I can 

Rick: go to the site arcade and play video games.

I can go and do this. I can, I have a plethora, I'm going to use that word. That's a weird word, but I'm going to throw it out there. A plethora of options of things I can go and do at a given moment. 

Veronica: I think I probably, to an extent, feel that way too. But if you did want to move to a small town in Texas, I'd be willing to try it for a year and see how it goes.

Rick: Wow. That's. That's some breaking news to me. I thought for sure you'd be like, no go on that. I mean, 

Veronica: if you asked Veronica a few years ago, the answer would have been a hard no, but if also you asked Veronica from 10, 15, 20 years ago, if she would be living in Texas, she would tell you hell no. So I'm a little bit more open minded now as far as where the hell, wherever the hell life is 

Rick: taking me.

Look at all this growth. I'm loving this. Yeah, [00:12:00] you've opened your mind to everything. 

Veronica: Speaking of community, I wanted to bring up our membership community because we had such an amazing health and wellness month. It went so, so well. We have so many things going on in there. We had again, two more community members.

One of our members from Minnesota flew to New York and she ended up staying with our other member who lives in New York. They got together and have been hanging out and we see this more and more and it gets me so excited. Because as child free people, we do have the option at times to travel and it's so much fun to travel and know people in the country or in the city that you're traveling to.

So that's super exciting. And also just a little shout out to. Mar, who is our health and wellness captain, who did an amazing job at leading us through challenges this month. It's been just a really fun experience and yeah, I'm really just loving it. 

Rick: And speaking of acknowledging people in the community, I want to mention Matt, who's in our community who started [00:13:00] off going to the.

Jim, three days a week and now he's up to four, which has inspired me and I'm about to hit my fourth day this week. I got to do it before Saturday. I think, yeah, I do love a little group motivation. I think it's important to have it. The community offers it. And like I said before, health and wellness is my favorite month.

You know, I'm big into health and wellness lately, 

Veronica: but anyway, if you're interested in joining our membership community, we're having a lot of fun in there. And also after our meetup the other day, one of our members. Hannah posted, I always feel so energized after our meetups. I am constantly grateful for this community and the amazingly open people that are part of it.

Rachel said, this was my first meetup and I'm so happy I found this community. I feel so seen and heard. Thank you all. Carrie said, me too. This is an amazing community. I'm so grateful. And it went on and on and it was just really nice and sweet to hear. Yeah, we have so much love. We're so obsessed. So yeah, the childfree connection.

com definitely check it out. If you want to be a part of that. Just 

Rick: to clarify, [00:14:00] the meetups are a call within the community to twice a month. And, uh, yeah, it's just so much fun. Yeah. They're, they're great. All right. So let's get into it. What do child free people do with their time? This one can be fun. It can be complicated.

It can be obvious. It can be not so obvious for people. I know. Um, it also, it also varies, right? It's very dependent on the person where they live. Geography wise, their relationship status. I mean, there's so many variables that go into it, wouldn't you say? 

Veronica: Yeah, there are. But before we get into exactly what we're doing all day, I think it's important to know why this question even comes up because it's just so freaking bizarre to me that people ask us this.

Like, what do we do all day? Cause we have nothing else to do if we don't have kids. And I think that oftentimes this question stems from Fear because people are really scared of being alone [00:15:00] and people are really scared of feeling bored. And that get pushed into society to the point where if you're not, I think that this blends into the whole hustle culture that you have to be doing something with your time 24 seven, if not, you're not doing life right.

So people assume if you're not with the kids, picking them up, dropping them off, taking them here, taking them there, doing something with them, helping them with homework, cooking them dinner, then what happens after that? What happens with this? Extra time. It's almost like, Oh, my God, you have extra time.

Like, what are you possibly going to do with it? So it's really interesting that this fear of loneliness and in isolation translates to what can we possibly be doing with our time? Does that make sense? 

Rick: It does, and it asks a broader [00:16:00] question. Most of those questions come from parents, obviously. Yeah. 

Veronica: Yeah.

Or, 

Rick: or the child free curious, as I call them. Yeah. 

Veronica: I mean, mostly from parents because here's the thing, when you have a built in little tribe with your family, let's say you have a kid or two kids, there's three of you, there's four of you, 10 of you, whatever it is, you have that for so long, so you can't really imagine.

Doing life without your little mini tribe, whereas child free people can imagine because even though you and I are in a relationship, we both are very independent as well and we do our own thing. So maybe you're traveling, you're not around for a week or two or three, maybe I'm traveling, I'm not around.

So the idea of being alone doesn't bring the sense of panic and fear because we know what it's like. We know what it's like to be alone. It's not terrifying 

Rick: knowing that a lot of this comes from parents. What I'm confused about [00:17:00] is I'm surprised that parents aren't sitting around and thinking of all the things that they'll be doing if they didn't have kids and they'd be like, Oh, That's fun.

So for them to say, what are you doing with your time? You know what we're doing with our time? We're doing all the things that you can't not to sound rude, right? Because they have responsibilities. Right. So that to me, it brings a lot of confusion to that question. And that's why I brought it up. Like, this is a very complicated question, but again, it comes back to what you're saying.

I think that. You know, what's in front of you. And if you are just used to taking care of children and your life revolving around children, it's hard to imagine someone being able to conjure up an agenda for the day or for the week or for the year on things that they can fill their time with. And that is a whole different type of conversation.

Veronica: Right, exactly. And also this idea of, aren't you going to be bored? Aren't you going to be lonely? What are you going to do? It's [00:18:00] used as a weapon, right? It's weaponized against the child free choice or against child free life, especially like you brought up earlier, people that are in indecision, people that are in the discovery or exploratory process of seeing if this life is for them.

They also might be getting this question, well, if you don't have kids, then what could you possibly do? And to your point, we actually, in our last meetup with our community, we brought this up and they did agree that they've gotten this question as well. And there was just so much to do. So many of us are really involved in personal hobbies and passions and activities.

And at the same time, there's really nothing wrong with doing nothing. I don't know about you, but I feel like we are so busy all the time. I'm actually overwhelmed. Most of the time, like I would welcome a day where there is nothing to do. I would welcome a weekend when there's absolutely nothing to do, but [00:19:00] I can't even think of the last time that that happened.

Can you? 

Rick: No. I mean, I welcome just like five minutes after the end of the day of just being a little bored. Like we're talking about boring. Yeah. Being an issue. But I'm going to say that from now on to you. If you're like, what are you up to? I'm going to be like, I'm right now just enjoying life and being bored.

So just leave me alone. But it, you know, really going back to the whole question about what do we do with our time? It really backs into the fact that look, what's relative to us is our circumstances and our situation, whatever that might be. So you have to understand that you're going to fulfill your day to day with what's in front of you.

And there isn't any kind of set. Layout on like what we should or shouldn't be doing. I know we child free people can be criticized a lot of the time that you should be filling your day up with taking care of kids and bringing up these humans to be good people in the world and so on and so forth. In my opinion, it's unfair [00:20:00] to really.

Judge other people, what they're spending their time with, because it always comes back to what situation they're in. And again, I brought up geography earlier because it really depends on where you live, what's around you. You know, some people live in rural areas where the closest thing to do is 50 miles away.

You know what I mean? 

Veronica: That's not true because somebody can just sit home and read a book, right? You can hop on, you can hop online. You can, I think you're thinking about like activities or really cool places to go. But you can live in the middle of nowhere and just do, you can, so you can, you know, no, no, 

Rick: no, no.

You're misunderstanding. I'm just saying whatever situation you're in, geography wise, financial wise, relationship wise, you're going to create an experience for yourself no matter what it is, right? You're right. Whether it's, you know, reading a book, you're just eliminating. The raising children factor, right?

So 

Veronica: it's also interesting because people forget about the basics that take up so [00:21:00] much time, like cooking, uh, cleaning, organizing, decluttering, uh, grocery shopping, like just the same things that People with kids do, and maybe the difference is that when you and I go to Whole Foods or Trader Joe's, it could be an experience.

We don't have to schedule it in. Anyway, to your point, it just depends. It depends how we want to do it, but it's really confusing why people are so mystified by this use of our time. And also, by the way, there's nothing wrong with Not doing much right? There's really nothing wrong with cuddling up with your pet, laying on the couch, relaxing, decompressing, trying to breathe, uh, but yeah, it just seems like not a good enough answer for some people.

Rick: Do you think maybe Because money [00:22:00] plays into it. And let me explain. So maybe they think that, Oh, you don't have these responsibilities. You probably have a lot of extra money because you're not spending it on because I hear that a lot. Every friend I have is like, I'm spending my money. So maybe they're thinking, what do you do with your time in a positive way with all this extra money, which is yeah.

Not true, by the way. That's another total false assumption. With all this extra money, maybe they're curious. Are you living this glamorous travel everywhere life? And maybe they want to hear about it. Maybe that's the disconnect. Or do you think it's more negative based in the sense of like, well, if you don't have kids, you must be bored.

And I don't know what you even do with your time. We could list the way what we do with our time. The 

Veronica: only way that I have received It is in a negative way. Not really. So much. You had to put the little out of that example, but I really, what do you mean, what did I miss? Cause you were like, I don't, I just think it's people being the way [00:23:00] that I've experienced as people just saying, what do you do with their time in, in, in a confusion and instead of confusion now, 

Rick: that's fascinating.

They're so confused because their life. Completely revolves around their children. I get that, but for them to not understand how as a human being, you're going to cultivate a happy, healthy, busy life without that is a real confusing factor for me. I just get lost in that. 

Veronica: Well, I think that it's probably more confusing for you 'cause you're a man too, because this comes up a lot with the women who explain with the women in my program because, oh, 

Rick: talk to me about that.

This 

Veronica: is interwoven and interconnected with a sense of. Responsibility, a sense of maturity, a meaning that if you're a mom, right? So you have all these responsibilities and sense of maturity, people say, because you're dealing with the kids and 

Rick: perceived sense of maturity. I mean, childfree people are mature too.

It's [00:24:00] just, 

Veronica: so it's really important for women to start. what's real, what's not, what we've been conditioned to believe, what perinatalist society says. So, and by the way, the doors to, I'm going to sync this in because it's really important. The doors to my program is Chalfie for me, the essential guide to exploring Chalfie life are open for just a week before I start my next session.

I am finishing on Sunday with this class that I'm doing now. And it's been. incredible, amazing. I'm just so happy. My heart is full. And if anyone's interested is childfoodformeet. com and we'll chat and we'll take it from there. But 

Rick: by the way, I will say if Veronica wants me to cry, she'll read me some of these.

Comments that people are making, and I'm not saying this to be a biased, obviously, but you'd read me these genuine comments and I start to like, I'm getting emotional right now. I mean, it's just, just because they've just been through so much and they've struggled [00:25:00] for them to find clarity and to see someone become a different person.

I know it's very emotional to me because we believe in this community so much and a big part of it is supporting those who need it. I really thought about it this morning, Rick, what do I do with. My time and we are gifted with this extra time, so we should be taking advantage of it. And if you haven't done so, I urge anyone to list five things that you're passionate about or five things that you want to work on, write them down and just come up with a plan to address it because you owe it to yourself.

You truly do. As a child, free person, you have a gift of time, but. 

Veronica: Not everyone, 

Rick: you're right. Thank you for correcting me. You always do. Some people 

Veronica: are caretaking, a sick parent or a sibling, but 

Rick: I still think it holds true that you owe it to yourself to find the time when you can. And what I focus on the most is my health, my mental [00:26:00] wellness.

Really exploring that and growing, you know, I mean, this is, this is what if I had to put it at the top, this is something that is so important to be physically. I mean, all we have is our health, you know, at the end of the day, and you'll know that that more and more as you get older, if you're younger listening to this, but like as a 52 year old man, I understand how important it is to stay hurt.

Don't get me started on things heard. I usually have, I thought I laughed at this morning. I usually have about three issues going on at the same time without the mental part. This is a physical part. I'll tell you right now, right now, you 

Veronica: and me, you and me both. Probably right 

Rick: now it's I hip and ear, I hip in here.

Veronica: Yeah, so let's just fill in our friends here. So Rick have this ongoing thing of as we're growing older together, and this is not about like, Oh, where's the old? No, but it's just facts, right? Like as because we weren't having these problems 10 years ago, as we grow old [00:27:00] together, something new starts to hurt.

Rick: It happens. And once you accept it, there's so much relief. Like I've, I've learned to accept it. And now I just wake up and be like that, that's what's happening now. So, you know, but. What I'm being serious, it's so important that we have the time to put in time at the gym to do strength training, to make sure cardiovascular system is going strong, to get our sleep, huge one, our sleep.

This is where your body restores itself. So that's the physical part, but I don't want to forget also the emotional part, furthering your emotional. Wellness is huge for me. I won't speak for everyone, but for me, that is a gift that I owe myself. And I always put it at the top of the list on something that I need to quote unquote do all day.

Veronica: And it's really important that you bring this up because sometimes people feel like, Oh, There they go. Child free people thinking of themselves. [00:28:00] But it's really crazy to me that anyone would even have that thought when we absolutely should be thinking ourselves when it comes to our well being and our mental health.

So, and we should also absolutely be spending our time having sex. And we've brought this up on the podcast before that sometimes as child free people We can very easily get in a rut Right because of life's demands or whatever we have to do with work or chores. So it's really important To have fun and to make time for fun and to think about new and fun and exciting things to do I think so.

I am meeting up with a few women to celebrate Cinco de Mayo And I don't know any of them. I got invited I'm gonna go So I'm walking into the situation with a whole brand new set of people and exploring new activities and meeting people. It's just something that I really like to do and that I like to pursue.

And sometimes I'm really super in the mood to do it. And sometimes I'm not, but I guess that goes back to we. [00:29:00] It's kind of nice just to do what we want to do. I feel like I am opening myself up for friendship. And the reason is that our current friends, I think I have like a pre no fun anxiety for the summer.

I think maybe that's what you're wanting to sing because yeah, because Our friends, for various reasons, are going to be doing a lot of traveling and are going to be away for most of the summer. So I think that I'm starting to get a little nervous that I'm not going to have things to do or people to do them with.

So I am. Friend shopping, 

Rick: Veronica's friend shopping. 

Veronica: You know, I do this every so often, this is something I do every couple of years. And I'm not a person that believes in this whole, you've met your friends for life already. Like what's the point of trying to meet people later on? Because I am [00:30:00] constantly.

Meeting amazing, incredible people that I want to be friends with. So that's why whenever I go friend shopping, you know, my friends make fun of me. They're like, you're so funny. But I put the intention out into the universe and it starts to happen. I even manifested it the other day when I was kind of.

Cranky. And I said to you, I need to find more friends for this summer. And I went out and I met someone and we're getting together this week, but it just sort of naturally starts to happen. But yeah, for me, it's just something, again, it comes with community. And this is why I love our community so much.

This is why I love all the women in my program so much. I just find so much satisfaction. And being and having a united front and being together. And it doesn't mean that we need to really be busy all the time. It's just means that while they're to support each other and to chat and just to check in, actually, right before we started this podcast, I told Victoria, one of our community members that we [00:31:00] should, um, hook up later tonight and have a chat because there's some similarities in what we're experiencing with our moms.

So it's just about connection with me. And if I feel Disconnected from people. I start to get a little like, so maybe it's not so much about fun, but about like feeling disconnected. 

Rick: That makes a lot of sense, actually. And you know, by nature, you're a very curious person. I've noticed that by the way, anyone out there be on the lookout for Veronica.

Cause you want her as a frat because she makes it all about you. She's not looking to, to be friends with you, to be self serving, like, Oh, I want to have fun or I want to. Feel more connected. You literally meet people and you're like, tell me all about yourself, and I have questions after you're done, because you're just always been that way since you were a kid.

You're a very curious person, so you're a very good friend. I will say, 

Veronica: I think another thing for me is that, and that's, it's another thing that I have to control because I love to learn, as you know. [00:32:00] Yeah. I need to read every book, listen to every podcast. Uh, watch every documentary and I do it for enjoyment to me, gathering and information and learning is a big way that I pass my time.

And I noticed that about me a few months back because sometimes when I don't have anything scheduled or something to do, my, the way that I. I feel my time is by educating myself on a new topic. So that's something I really enjoy something else that I definitely 

Rick: find my do you find my lack of education concerning 

Veronica: that would imply that I don't think you're smart.

I actually think you're extremely smart, but you're just we're all smart in a 

Rick: very just in a very C plus type of way. I'm, I'm smart in a very C plus type of way. I'm street smart, kinda. 

Veronica: No, no, you're very smart. Plus, you're reading like 12, 000 books all the time, and [00:33:00] you have a lot to say, and you really pay attention.

And you're, you're, you're very good at learning things and implementing right away, where maybe I tend to overthink things a little bit even more. So. So that they're perfect. So I do admire that about you. It's nice to see. Another thing that I like to do with my time is group activities. I love going to play pickleball.

I am excited to go to top golf with people or mini golf. I like, we're going to have game night and our membership community and we have a really good idea for it. So I'm looking forward to that. I like group activities, group activities make me really happy. 

Rick: Okay, so fun, friendships, group activities 

Veronica: and education and education, 

Rick: right?

Your top priorities. 

Veronica: Exactly. But I did want to read you this because there were so many articles that I found on, on people asking like, what the hell do child free couples do with their time or people? And this one person says, why, what do child free couples do when they're in the house together besides eat, have sex and watch [00:34:00] TV?

And it was just such a funny question. And so many people are answering and someone said, who says they're just hanging around the house being bored. We had enough money and free time to pursue mutual interests, like taking day trips to historical sites, going to concerts, plays, or just visiting friends or having dinner parties.

We can also discuss world events or even deep thoughts without having noisy little people interrupting. We were also comfortable enough with ourselves and each other that we could each pursue our own hobbies together. Separately in the same house. And we also ate, watch TV and had sex.

I love this answer, but it was funny just Googling this type, this query, because it comes up so often and there are lists and lists that I found. People say we do our hobbies. We cook meals, we clean up, we play video games. I mean, it just goes on and on. So for those of you who are [00:35:00] wondering if. Child free people are just.

sitting around trying to figure out what to do with their time because they're not sitting next to a eight year old doing math homework. That's not something to worry about or concern yourself with because there's a million things to do and there's nothing wrong with having free time. And if you find yourself to be bored, which some of us can, most people, like most people in our community, we're saying that they're never bored.

I tend to set high standards. standards for my fun, like you mentioned. So, but if I do feel like, Oh, I'm a little bored today. We didn't plan anything. I do something about it. So it's not mental. It's not this feeling of loneliness. Yeah. 

Rick: Yeah. That falls into that spontaneous bucket. You can't, you don't have to sit around 

Veronica: exactly 

Rick: and you have four takeaways that you'd like to deliver.

Veronica: Yeah. And you are 

Rick: listening audience. 

Veronica: Yeah. And it was a combination of research and just thoughts that I had and I wanted to bring up four key points. And number one is that. Because we don't have [00:36:00] kids. And if you're in a relationship, you really can, as we've spoken about, dedicate the time to your partner, but you also have the option to split and leave that relationship, which a lot of times people with kids don't have, because how many times do we hear that people stayed together because of the kids?

Rick: Yeah. I never even thought of that one. Yeah. You don't have children. That's part of this decision about leaving. Maybe a relationship you don't want to be in. It makes it so less complicated. 

Veronica: Yeah. And also, if you're not in a relationship, if you're single, because I've seen this with my single girlfriends, you have the time to dedicate to finding the right partner for yourself without having the added pressure of when should I introduce?

My child to this person. Is this person a good parent? Is this person going to fit into my life? So you can really just focus on what you're looking for for yourself so that you find the right partners So there's different time commitments there as well The [00:37:00] second thing I wanted to bring up as far as our time is that because we have less structure that may be misconstrued as We're not doing enough.

And what I mean by structure is the structure in our schedule, because we're not getting up at 6am to feed the kids, to drop off the kids at school, to pick them up, to take them to a game. So it's a very rigid schedule when you have children that you have to follow. So the fluidity in our schedule Schedules may make people think, especially if you're working from home, obviously understand if you have a nine to five, you're sticking to that schedule, but because there's a freedom and it's not a structured, people may think that, well, what can you possibly do?

So that could be another reason. 

Rick: Yeah. So that's one of my favorite things is not having that traditional structure. 

Veronica: Right. Being in that routine, although it may feel good for some people, it's very liberating not to have that and just be able to be spontaneous and see what happens the next day. All 

Rick: but true.

Driving. You gotta do in a structured [00:38:00] environment, by the way. I mean, just taking kids there is a lot of 

Veronica: picking up and dropping off. I always feel 

Rick: like there's a lot of driving that's driving is a thing that's my friends 

Veronica: call me when they're in the car. Picking up or dropping off is when I get all the calls from my mom.

Rick: Driving is a thing with parents. Speaking of what you do with your time. Mm-Hmm? . 

Veronica: I'm 

Rick: gonna be very selfish right now. Yeah. I think it would be a good idea for some people to take time to leave a review and rate our podcast and follow it because we could, we need to get the message out there. This makes you feel good.

Tell us. I agree. This makes you feel bad if you disagree. free, feel free to tell us. 

Veronica: Yeah, no, give us five 

Rick: stars or one if you really have to. But at the bottom line is, we prefer five. 

Veronica: Thank you so much for bringing this up. Because every time we do a podcast, we want to remind people to please go ahead and write and review us and we always forget.

So I appreciate it 

Rick: and follow us too. So you get alerts when we do post these podcasts. Yeah, 

Veronica: absolutely. So this next one is embracing the [00:39:00] idea that we don't know what this next day, this next hour, this next weekend is going to bring. So rather than feeling trapped by this idea that we have to be doing something all the time, it's really important to remind ourselves that we should be absolutely embracing it.

And the last thing is to remove this labeling of. Kids and no kids and for each one of us to just know that we are responsible for fulfilling our lives and we are responsible for the richness in our lives. It's really up to us. 

Rick: I love that. We're going to end on that note. I think that's perfect. So I guess it's fair to say that what do child free people do with their time?

A whole hell of a lot. I would say most, most people do a whole hell of a lot, but we have the option to not do anything and I want to end on that. Put me in a great mood. Everyone listening or watching on YouTube. I hope this has put you in a good mood. So have 

Veronica: [00:40:00] a 

Rick: fantastic day or night or morning whenever you're listening to this.

See you 

Veronica: next time. Bye. 

Rick: Bye.