Do you ever wonder what Childfree Life really looks and feels like?

Sure, there are the party days of your 20s & 30s (which we both crushed by the way!) but what happens when things start to "slow down" at 50?

Is fun still a priority? Does the worry about the elder years increase or decrease? Does regret set in or fade into oblivion? Is building community with new childfree friends possible?

We share answers and insights to all of this PLUS, wecover topics that matter to all of us- health and wellness, relationships, investments, career, travel and lots more!

 

In this episode, Rick and I dismantle the Top 5 Assumptions that society often casts on those of us living childfree – we debunk childfree myths and shed some light on the actual truth of the childfree lifestyle. We go from dispelling the notion of us being baby haters to challenging the prevailing misconception that all childfree people are rich.

We share with you a very special encounter that unfolded at the Austin airport as I was on my way to Florida. This latest visit to see my mom sparked yet another childfree gratitude moment and a personal reflection that some of you may be experiencing as well. 

We invite you to join in on the conversation so that together, we can unravel all the false narratives that STILL exist and continue celebrating our childfree choice!

Transcript

Rick: [00:00:00] I am feeling so, so, so, that's three so's, ready for today's podcast. Me

Veronica: too, definitely. Today we share a rare and very special moment we both had at the Austin airport. It was definitely one for the books. It was, so sweet. I discuss a recent visit to my mom's house which sparked yet Another Child Free Gratitude moment.

And thank

Rick: you for sharing that perspective. Of course,

Veronica: you're welcome. And we slashed the top five assumptions that society believes about the child free life. I really love this topic. I do too and I'm curious to see which assumption you are all so tired of hearing the most. So lots to chat about today.

Let's dive in.

Rick: Hello. I'm in way too much of a good mood.

Veronica: I know, I know, I

Rick: know. And I'm annoying you, . I can tell sometimes I am in such a good mood and it annoys you and I understand why.

Veronica: Yeah. I mean, that [00:01:00] sounds bad, . I know, but I think it's just, yeah, it's, I'm not true. I'm happy. I prefer you to be in the smooth than to be in a crappy one, so I know it's that

Rick: I'm annoying you.

I, we started some of these podcasts where I'm like. Um, I want to start off by saying it is so good to see you. I know. And people are probably like, what do you mean it's good to see you? Well, we're going to get into that on today's podcast. But yeah, really, um, we haven't done this in a little while because, you know, we both have been traveling and I think we'll start there because I think we had a very special memory that I think it's worth sharing for those who are interested.

Uh, and it took place at the airport. So why don't you kind of break it down for everyone? Because I thought it was a great moment that I'm going to remember forever.

Veronica: It's easy to please me. So, basically, what happened was that we both, uh, traveled at the same time. And, uh, if you haven't been listening to the podcast, just quick [00:02:00] refresher.

We have, we're in an interim space, really small, really tight, and we've been really, last year we really got on each other's nerves. Um, but things are much better and we put all these tools and efforts into place to make sure that we don't kill each other. Um, but we're still in this space and it's interesting because I think that we both always talk about how much we would appreciate just having the place to ourselves and having alone time and, you know, just having.

Um, a little bit more independence cause we're always so on top of each other. Blah, blah, blah. Sure. What ends up happening is that whenever we're apart, the second we're apart, we're both like, I

Rick: know, isn't that probably common amongst most couples? I mean, it's just like you get on my nerves. And then the minute you guys, people separate, it's just like.

Yeah, exactly. Where's my other

Veronica: half? Yeah, [00:03:00] exactly. So we both, like, you know, need to Anyway, so I just thought that was funny because we were both, like, counting down the minutes, you know, until we could be together. So basically what happened was, I had planned for a while to go see my mom in Florida. Um, she just needed help with a million things.

So I took a trip there. That trip was already planned. I was leaving, um, on a specific day. And shortly thereafter, you got a gig for people don't know, uh, Rick is an executive producer. He works on a bunch of shows and you're working on an award show and you got this gig and you had to go to a location scout in LA and you left.

About, I don't know, not even a full week before I did. So what was going to happen is you were going to be gone for almost a week. I was going to be gone for seven days and we were going to have this huge stretch of time of not seeing each other, which hasn't happened in a really, really long time. Right?

I can't even remember the last time that we [00:04:00] spent that much apart. It's been a couple of years for sure. Yeah, it's been a couple of years. So. What ended up happening is, once your travel was booked and my travel was booked and we compared, we realized that the day I leave for Florida to see my mom is the same day you get back from LA from your location, Scout.

And we could, we have this window where we could have an airport date.

Rick: Not only the same day, the same hour, like we met at the airport at the same time I was coming in, you were leaving same terminal in Austin. There's only one terminal. So you, you, we both created this great, this great little lunch date.

And coincidentally, my brother who flies for American happened to be on a route that landed in Austin the exact same time as. We were gonna be there. So we were trying to hook up with him. It didn't work out, but you know, it's no choice.

Veronica: Well, you saw him later. Yeah. So that later, so worked out.

Rick: But it was just unique.

It was like that was was not planned, you know? Yeah.

Veronica: It was really, really interesting. [00:05:00] It just kind of worked out that way. And as you landed, I was checking my bag and so the timing just really worked out. I mean, I went to the airport extra early. I found a place for us to have dinner. I wanted to have a drink before I got on the flight.

And so yeah, it had a few drinks before you got on the flight. It

Rick: was really what, you got a little tipsy before you got on the flight. You had a two few

Veronica: drinks. I think I did. And also because I'm such a lightweight, so the second I have a full glass, glass of wine.

Rick: Yeah. And you don't love to fly

Veronica: and I get that.

Yeah. Yeah. So the second, but even so the second I have a full glass of wine, it's already like, you know, yeah. Broth gets already feeling tipsy, so. So anyway, that was really fun to do. And then we went our separate ways. Getting back to my mom's trip. It also reminded me of how grateful I am to be child free and for our child free life.

And we have been talking about this in, with the members of our community. So we have these live meetups with our community. We actually just had one yesterday and it was just [00:06:00] so, so amazing. It's so incredible to connect

Rick: with. Can I be cheesy and say that. It's starting to feel like family. It is! It really is.

A hundred percent. A hundred percent. It's a little cheesy to say and someone might hear that and be like, really? How well do you know them? But I really feel like they're extended family members. They are. It's so weird.

Veronica: They are. It's very, very strange. I mean, we, when we started this membership community, we definitely.

Thought that we were gonna make some friends and we're gonna get connected, but not to the level that it's unfolding, not to the level of like you feel such a strong sense of support among these people. You feel so connected. Everyone is just so open and so kind and so loving. I mean, I can talk about it forever.

I know

Rick: I've got goosebumps. I literally have goosebumps. And here's why. Here's why. And you know, I just feel like yeah. We're going to know that, like, this could be our community when we get [00:07:00] older, like, you know, I mean, what are you going to do when you're older? I know what we're going to do. The Child Free Connection is going to have hundreds of people that is going to hang out and we're all going to see each other and know each other.

And I just think it's fantastic. And we always talk about the importance of building community. It's really exciting for me. I hope it's really exciting for the community members to know, like, we have this. Family, I'm going to say it now. It's a family, not just a community of people that, that, that get to hang out.

We talk to each other on the side. It's not just always during our meetups. You can DM and all this stuff is great. I'm sorry. Yeah. I'm just really excited

Veronica: about it. Yeah. I mean, it was just such a mushy, wonderful call. But back to your mom, I interrupted, go ahead. Yeah. So the, the reason this came this up is because we were also talking about it in our call, because there's a few members of our community that are going through very simple situations that I'm going through with my mom.

And that is. Some of the listeners, or if you're watching, may be a bit too young, but if you have parents in your life, you know, as they get older, they [00:08:00] need a lot of support, a lot of care, maybe it's financial, maybe it's support, maybe you need to physically be there, there's just so many different things that come up, that's the space where I am with my mom, she needs a lot of support, and as you know, I support her virtually everyday, we were just talking about how that I was able to pick up and go to Florida.

I was able to work from there and just be able to help her be able to support her and be there for her. And the other members of our communities were saying the same thing because their parents are also not living in the same state they're in so they're just either hopping on a train or a plane or driving somewhere and really just putting their lives on hold to assist.

It's something that is really different if you have children, right? So let me be clear because I posted about this last week and a bunch of parents came in and got offended that they helped those parents just as much. What [00:09:00] I am saying is that I personally, let's say, for example, am very grateful that we don't have children right now that would really prohibit me to do the things that I can do for my mom, right?

Yeah, that's a great point. We would be having a different experience. if I wasn't able to support her the way that I am, right? Not saying one or the other, not saying that we had kids, blah, blah, blah, blah. Like, like you just reminded me, we're not talking about it, but it's about having this space for them.

And knowing that it is. Many times going to get difficult, right, depending on how their health is doing, their mental health, their physical health, and that is something that I took back from Florida that just got sealed into my head even

Rick: more. Yeah, I mean, you bring up a great point about that, and I just realized that [00:10:00] that's a great.

Argument you can make if you have parents that you're not going to give me any grandchildren. You're like, I'm not, but guess what? I'm gonna have extra time to take care of you. Yeah. So maybe you can bring down the, uh, you know, the pressing me to have kids because I'll be more available to you. A thousand percent.

Veronica: And that's why, cause I did a real one exactly that. I think it was last week. Or, and that's what got the comments and from people saying, like, I help my parents do and we have kids, blah, blah, blah, blah. That was my takeaway for my trip. And I'm just really grateful that I'm able to do something like that.

Especially we just talked about this morning. I may have to just get up and go at any point and, and, and. And I'm able to do that and also not leave you with any sort of, I mean, you're already have to take care of Eddie, right? Because when I'm, when one of us isn't around, we have to do all the walking and all the feet

Rick: and all that.

I just want to interject one plain thing that I, I, I got it made an observation. So. First of [00:11:00] all, when you're at the gate, do you scan the gate area to see who's gonna be boarding your plane? Do you do a full scan? I do a full scan and usually, and maybe it's just me. Sorry. Maybe it's just me, but I usually don't see Children.

Until I get on the plane and then they just pop up like walk them all they just sort of like boom They're like right behind me right in front of me.

Veronica: Well, they do get to board First so yeah

Rick: Yeah, but I watch people boarding early Yeah, you know veterans and you know folks that need some assistance or so on and so forth and I never see them I don't know and maybe I block them out, but it was interesting because I did board and right behind me Was a youngster, they were probably, I want to say, did I see youngster?

What am I, 900 years old? It was because I didn't know it was between a baby and like a, between a baby and a toddler. I, I didn't know what's that called a youngster. That's so weird. I never thought, I don't think I've [00:12:00] ever used that word anyway. I turn around and I'm not going to get in. The baby did cry the whole flight.

Kind of, I mean, it happens,

Veronica: it happens,

Rick: and you know what, by the way, it doesn't bother me as much these days because I put on the noise cancelling headphones and I just tune it out and, but I did turn around a couple of times and I noticed that the mom was holding the baby underneath the arms. You know, kind of like this on YouTube, you'll see me, but basically underneath the arms close to her chest and his torso was, was hanging and it wasn't like his feet were on the seat.

It was like, and there was no hanging, not his torso was hanging, his torso and his feet, like his body was hanging, but they weren't touching the seat or her legs, which was just kind of holding the baby in the most uncomfortable position, by the way. And then I looked and there was other people sitting in that row.

Okay. So. Safety thing. Do babies not have to wear seatbelts like on takeoff? Because I'm like wondering where, [00:13:00] unless, unless maybe this baby was behind or something like that with the

Veronica: husband. Are you 100 percent sure that there was people in the two seats next to

Rick: her or you just didn't? Yeah. Yeah. No, 100 percent sure.

So I was, I know some babies get to fly free to a certain degree and sometimes you have to hold the baby, but I was like, where's the seat? So I'm, I don't know, again, you wouldn't know this, but do you have to buy a seat for a baby? I'm asking. Those who may know this, you're acting asking the wrong person because I'm, I'm asking the wrong audience, but , I'm asking the wrong audience, but I think the, you let us

Veronica: know.

Just let us, if you're watching this on YouTube, let us know in the comments. Like, but someone might have a niece, niece or nephew, if you had any idea how this works. Like how old the baby is

Rick: until 'cause the baby was, was held the whole flight by this woman just holding. And now I could tell. Well, yeah,

Veronica: I guess if they don't have a seat, you have to hold it.

Yeah. You

Rick: can't let it roam. But they have to wear seatbelts. I don't know. Yeah. And they weren't strapped in. I thought it was one of those, one of those things called where the babies are

Veronica: on the front. Again, asking the wrong person.

Rick: It was like called like a thing. Oh [00:14:00] gosh, I forgot. No idea. Everyone's screaming this is listening because it's a very common name.

Most people don't. I doubt

Veronica: it. I'm going to say it. I'm going to tell it.

Rick: All right. Again, I'm forgetting who we're talking to.

Veronica: to be like a baby Bjorn, but I think that's it. That's it. That's the brand. Then that could have been from 20 years ago and

Rick: they don't exist anymore. Who knows? Anyway, I just found that traveling experience.

I'm very observant now when it comes to, you know, the whole like kids on planes and stuff and how that works. Like also we were talking with our community yesterday, you know, when kids sit in first class, does that annoy you? Do you feel like first class is adult only? I feel like that should be a thing.

Plus, they're taking up someone's upgrade, possibly. Not that I get upgraded, but like, some people do. I don't know. Lots to discuss on that, but that's not today's topic. You know today's topic, and I'd like to, for you to bring it up because I'm very excited to talk about it.

Veronica: Yeah, we were talking about the other day, and these come up all the time.

All the different assumptions that people make about Child free [00:15:00] people, so we're just gonna go over them because some of them are just so ridiculous. Some of them are just, you know, we're tired of hearing them. So we just want to bring them to the forefront and just talk about them and how they came to me and then just kind of kind of knock them over sort of like, you know, with a bat.

Rick: Wow, getting aggressive. I like it. So wait, so annoying, right? Yeah, assumptions are there. Yeah. Annoying, right? I mean, you can make assumptions about anyone and it's all of it. I've, I've been guilty of it, but I'm starting to learn in my older age that it's just pointless and it's a waste of time, brain energy and everyone else's time that's listening to it.

So

Veronica: nothing. And also it makes. The receiver feel crappy about themselves sometimes for no reason, it's just a big mess when people bring assumptions into, [00:16:00] into the arena and I feel like that I feel like I mean, it's, it's just a fact because we get comments all the time and we get DMs, all these assumptions that people make about.

Us about choppy people in general. So we're definitely gonna go over those and, uh, and, and I want to hear what our, um, listeners have to say about that. I was going

Rick: to say, I want to do a quick call out and say that, you know, if we didn't cover your assumptions, what are some of the assumptions that you feel you get?

And by the way, speaking of that word, call out, we were talking about this yesterday, so I've been not in the corporate world for over four years and I'm working with a corporate. Broadcasting network. So I'm on a lot of corporate calls and, you know, I know there's some jokes made about this during COVID, uh, you know, because husbands and, or, and, and wives were working from home and, or.

Partners were working from home, I should say corporate speak and corporate speak was now in the household and one of the classic ones was a woman said, Oh, my God, I can't [00:17:00] believe I'm married to the circle back guy when people say circle back on the call. And I'm like, Oh my gosh, I'm never going to do that again.

Cause I, I was guilty of that. Everyone is, you just get into it. It's just a binocular, sucked into it. I'm sucked back into it because now I'm on these corporate calls and I'm just like, and one of the ones I hear now, which is a new one is like, thanks for that call out. You know, that really helped when there's like a problem and someone brings attention to it, they call it a call out.

Veronica: I mean, it's new to you. It might be, it might

Rick: be around forever. Oh, I'm sure. I've, I, listen, I've been out of the loop for a long, there's another one. Look at it, it's just coming out of my mouth. I just can't, I can't help it. I don't know if out of the loop is a little bit of a stretch, but there's just like circle back call outs.

Um, let's put a pin in that. Let's revisit.

Veronica: Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Rick: Yeah. Yeah. It's just like we may, I was, it was, I got to get it out of my head cause I'm bringing it into my social speak. Like, yeah.

Veronica: Yeah. Well, once you're done with this project and you wrap it up and hopefully you'll start to slowly [00:18:00] talk like a human being again, but I don't blame you.

I've done it myself. I mean, we worked together back in the day and you're sitting in a conference room around the. Stupid oval table and everyone just starts speaking that way. And I think that there's just not even an awareness of it. You just start to do it immediately.

Rick: You know, one I've been doing that I'm embarrassed to say that I feel like I had to stop because I think like some people were going to eventually be like, Oh, he's that guy.

I was saying button up a lot. I was saying like, okay, I just want to make sure this gets done. So we're all buttoned up for the production. And then I said it over and over and I'm like, I'm the buttoned up guy. I'm like, who wants to be that guy? So I was like, okay, I'm not using buttoned up anymore, but it kind of comes out like, I just want to make sure we're all buttoned up.

Yeah. Yeah. All right. I had a little side note on that. No, no, I understand. Let's get back to assumptions. I'm very excited about this topic. Uh, assumptions, assumptions, assumptions. We deal with them a lot. Um, why don't we, we created a top five list, I believe. Did you create five? [00:19:00] Yes. So let's go through them and see who relates, uh, between two of us.

And maybe if, if, for those who relate, who was watching this on YouTube or want to comment, that would be great. Um, but let's go through number one. I'm very curious what's at the top of the list. And these are no particular order, obviously. Yeah, we're not doing like a top 10 or top five, top five assumptions for child free people coming in at number five, that's my radio voice.

Oh my God. You know, what's funny. I was talking to my brother about radio

Veronica: voices anymore, right? People

Rick: don't even, there's no radio

Veronica: voices. Radio DJs. Still around.

Rick: No, but it's weird. There's been radio voices through the decades. And you remember like in the twenties or maybe even earlier, they say, that's what you do, say that whole thing.

I was like, did people really talk like that? I did some digging. They don't. That was like their broadcast voice. So when you hear like those TV shows, it was like, that's what I'm talking about. Say you got to do this. Say it was like this [00:20:00] whole thing. And then it got into, like, in the eight seventies, eighties, and nineties, it was like, Hi, everybody!

Welcome to the show! And it was just, like, this whole thing. And now we've come full back circle, like, How about we How about we just be ourselves? Let's try that. Let's not put on a put on a I mean, I guess you could make an argument that when you watch CNN, there's still that whole like, welcome to the show.

And we're going to cover some stuff like there's still that cadence when it comes to when it comes to

Veronica: news programming, programming, you could be watching anything and then there is that kid. And especially if we're, we're, um, we're, we watch a lot of Dateline and 2020 and they all have like a very specific

Rick: kid and he's just like, remember that little old lady down the street?

Well, she wasn't home at all. It turns out, she was in the house that night. That's the best. I love that guy. I love that guy. Alright, we're just going off on tangents today. Alright, back to assumptions.

Veronica: So the first assumption is [00:21:00] that child free people hate children. And that is one that I don't even know what We need to do at this point to drill it into people's heads.

And by the way, side note, some people don't like children and that's completely fine. And some parents don't like children. And we've talked about this before. Parents will admit they don't even like any other kids besides their own. So. Everybody can have their own opinion on that, but what I'm talking about is the umbrella assumption that we're all, we all hate kids, we don't want them in existence, we don't want them around, we can't stand them.

So, that perception is really hard to shift, because like I said, no matter what we say, People will still call us child haters, baby haters, so whatever, it is what it is, but yeah, I don't know, what do you think about that? Yeah,

Rick: I mean, I think it's, I think sometimes it's not directly people coming out and say they hate children, some [00:22:00] people do, and like you said, that's okay, but I think it's some of the context of what we put out on Instagram, where it's just like, and I think they draw conclusions, like if we're doing a, we're living our best life type of, Vibe on Instagram, I could see how someone's like, oh, you must hate kids because you couldn't do

Veronica: that if you had kids, but that makes an assumption

because

Rick: it's incorrect.

No, that's that's exactly right. Yeah. Yeah, but I but yeah, you're right. I mean we personally love kids I've got nieces and nephews that I absolutely adore and that's the great thing too. Also about this life. Yes So and you do too You know, we get to live vicariously through them. We, we get to be part time parents sometimes when we go to visit them.

And it's like you get like that dose, but you can give, give them back, which is, which is ultimately, so I kind of think it falls under the expression. You have your cake and eat it too situation, which is, which is nice. We get the best of both worlds. Oh, what a great decision we made. All right. Assumption number two.

[00:23:00] Okay.

Veronica: We're

Rick: moving right along. Sorry. I like to keep things moving. I like, I feel like everyone, um, I mean, do you have something to add to that? I'm just

Veronica: no, it's fine. It's totally fine. But I am interested to, um, hear from people to see if they get this assumption a lot that they hate Children don't like Children, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.

And, and this is just okay. One thing I want to add, because my family always just say that. Well, you hate kids. Well, you hate kids. No. I don't hate kids, but I do hate if a kid is screaming at the top of their lungs for 45 minutes. And I mean, so do parents or so does anybody like it's just doesn't, you know, I am going to wince if somebody just will not stop crying, you know, a three year old or screaming or throwing things like not my favorite, not my favorite.

Rick: Especially if it's a big floaty alligator or an alligator toy and you get a hit in the head with it. Remember when that

Veronica: happened? Yeah. I mean, I've gotten hit in the head a [00:24:00] few times. So my kids. So yeah, so not my favorite at all, but it doesn't mean I hate them. So yeah, I mean, we can go right to number two, but I thought that, um, that is a big one.

And I think that assumption just generally spreads out throughout. So I'm interested to see what people have to say. Assumption number two is that Child free people have no sense of responsibility, uh, or they lack maturity, which is around the same realm,

Rick: and Can I weigh in on that first of all? You know, I actually think that one is so funny because it's the exact Opposite because we have so much time to focus on ourselves and we become more self aware because we're more, we were alone a lot of the times really focusing on it.

I think we become more mature and we become more self aware and more, uh, what was the, what was mature and what was the other thing that we'd like responsibility and we'd like, I think, I feel like we're more responsible in a lot of ways. Some of [00:25:00] us, obviously, you know, this is all for yourself. Yeah. Yeah.

But I feel, I feel more mature. More responsible, more in control of my life than I ever have. And a lot of that has to do with other outside reasons, but I, I don't know. I, I, I definitely think that's an interesting assumption for me because it's complete opposite.

Veronica: Yeah. I mean, I agree with you. This comes up in my program a lot, uh, because the women, some of the women in my program have been made to feel like you're not a real, adult woman until you have the responsibility of caring for another child and the messaging is coming at you so crazy and it gets really confusing and it's really, you know what's really interesting?

The women who have gone through my program and have been really deeply affected by this kind of messaging from outsiders, Are [00:26:00] the most incredible, amazing, smart, responsible, mature women that I have ever met. Like, it's just ironic that they're being made to believe the exact opposite of what they really are.

To my point. Yeah, so, right, exactly. So, yeah, this is This is just crazy and just a side note before we get into number three I just want to say because I did just finish my Program is child free for me the essential guide to exploring a child free life. I am so I'm excited. I have it. My graduates are awesome.

Um, and I have opened the doors to my next program. So it's childfreeforme. com and I'm gathering all my testimonials, which are amazing. I'll be posting them. Um, I, is Chelsea for me Instagram, but I wanted to share one if I [00:27:00] can from one of the members. Um, actually just put it up on my computer because, so she says this has been an incredible experience.

I have learned so much. I feel like I've gained so much confidence in my decision. I've grown a lot, and I know that I am not alone. I know that there is a whole community of women who understand what I'm going through, and we can support each other, which has been absolutely amazing. I mean, sounds

Rick: like a very mature person to me, coming off of our number two assumption.

And by

Veronica: the way, this is a very mature woman. She's a perfect example of what I'm talking about. But I mean, it has been this, it just, it just makes me so happy. So yeah. So once again, if there's anybody out there just having, leaning towards child free life or have decided to be child free, but you can't quite get to the [00:28:00] confident, peaceful, positive place.

Um, yeah. Check out the program. It's childfree4me. com.

Rick: So for sure. Right. Now I'll just give you the. Coming in at number three! Assumption number three. No one even

Veronica: knows what you're doing and what you're talking about, by the way.

Rick: All right, sorry. We'll stop it. Oh,

Veronica: you don't have to stop it. Nobody knows. Um, okay, so number three assumption is that we haven't thought it through.

And maybe you don't get it as much, being a man, but it's really It's funny how certain people will not believe if you tell them that you're child free, if you tell them that you're child free by choice, or however you landed, right? You could still be, of course, very happy in your child free life and you just landed there in a different way, but it's.

People still think that you're going to change your mind or that if the situation maybe if you had a different partner Maybe if you weren't single if you had a [00:29:00] partner like they're just Believing and assuming that you must have not thought this through because had you thought it through enough Quote unquote like they did Then you would have kids.

So that's a huge assumption in

Rick: itself. You know, some assumptions rhyme and ring true with you. So, um, that one, you know, what's interesting. I never really thought it through until recently. So I am a late bloomer when it comes to understanding that this was a choice and I'm happy. That I was ignorant, and I'm lucky that I accidentally didn't have a child.

Having said that, later, when I met you, and we really started talking about not having kids, and what that life looks like. I

Veronica: think it's just coming from a different angle, right? You're like, okay, no, I didn't think it through, but I didn't even realize that I needed to, because you just assumed that. You always just assumed you were going to have

Rick: kids.

I'm so grateful that I made the decision not to have children, [00:30:00] and my life would have been worse if I did make the decision to have kids. It's, I'm saying that for me, that is a fact.

Veronica: Yeah, no, I know. You feel really strongly about that and I completely understand. And I mean, I also agree. I mean, I'm not going to say what have been worse because I don't know what it would have been like, but I know that I'm very happy with the way that it is.

Rick: Yeah, and this is coming for those who might not have heard the other podcast. This is coming from a 50 year old man, 52 year old man. Um, and yeah, did I have fear of the future and all that stuff? Sure, before I educated myself, and I don't have those fears anymore, I know I'm going to be fine. I know everything's going to be okay with this life trajectory, and I'm not only fine with it, but I'm excited about it.

You know, I'm excited about all the opportunities I'm going to have to live the life I want to live as I get older. Yeah. And I'm not worrying about being elderly because AI and robotics will be taking care of us. That is a fact. I mean, that is [00:31:00] the priority number one in the elderly when it comes to robotics and AI.

So we're going to have plenty of support if they don't take over the world. That's a whole nother podcast. Sorry, going on. I went on another tangent. This is called the tangent podcast.

Veronica: The other assumption that looms around Coming in at number four!

Rick: That's so annoying. I'm gonna stop. I'm sorry, everyone.

Veronica: I will stop.

Is that All child free people are wealthy, or rich. Oh,

Rick: I wish, I wish that was an assumption that was true. Oh, that would be so nice. Why couldn't that assumption be true? I would be proud to say it to everyone. Yeah, we're right, we are rich. Everyone's rich who doesn't have kids. Right,

Veronica: and it's also I think it's really important to clarify that one does not equal the other, right?

Because I think that there is a sort [00:32:00] of influencer led belief system where you don't have kids equals you are going to be rich without talking about. Your career choices, your investments, the way that you manage your money, uh, the way that you will handle, God forbid, something happens to you. I mean, the list is endless, so one does not equal another.

Does one mean, yeah, of course we talk about it all the time, how. We don't have to worry about certain bills and that alone is a huge financial benefit for us and for other child free people. But the assumption that because you don't have kids, you have 10 million sitting around the bank that you have nothing else.

You don't know what to do with. It's just completely false. And I mean, we know that for a fact, we're very connected to our [00:33:00] community. We're very. open about, um, all these assumptions with the members. Uh, and we talk about all this all the time and people have agreed that this assumption, and it doesn't really matter where you land financially.

It's just a matter of, okay, you have a different set of bills. You have a different set of responsibilities. How are you going to manage

Rick: them? Yeah. And you know, Money doesn't buy you happiness. It buys you options, right? So I feel like, I mean, that's my belief when it comes to it. And I think that, you know, those options on how you spend your money are just vastly different from parents and people with.

That don't have kids because of child free people because there is such a huge amount of money that goes into Children, I mean that's factual right three hundred and thirty thousand a year apparently is what the last reading was around Wait, no, I can't be right not a year three hundred

Veronica: thirty thousand Sorry, I find that [00:34:00] figure to be Really low for a number of reasons.

I wouldn't even get into it now. But for example, I mean,

Rick: we went to the, we went to the grocery store the other day and it was 168 and we had seven things in our cart. I'm not joking by the way. No, I know, I

Veronica: know. I think that was wrong. And that figure is, that figure is just getting by, right? You're not talking about private schools.

You're not talking about exactly, you're not talking about iPads.

Rick: It does create options. To spend your money more on you as opposed to another individual. Correct.

Veronica: As long as you do it

Rick: wisely. Yeah. I take that assumption. I twist it and I turn it into a perk. There's always

Veronica: been this real focus on raising your children until they're 18 and, you know, whatever money, resources, effort, energy you're pouring into them.

And times have really changed. I mean, the kids are not out of the house and independent at 18. We all know this, right? And I feel like I just [00:35:00] see so many examples in my personal life of. Of my friends who are parents being responsible for their older children that are young adults, whether they're in their 20s, um, you know, pushing 30 people who have I mean, we speak to older people also who have children in the 30s and they're still financially supporting them.

We have we know people that have. Children in their forties and they're still helping them out financially. We have friends who are in their fifties, early sixties, and still receiving financial assistance from their parents. So this financial tie doesn't exactly break once the child hits 18. Um, so yeah, so anyway, yeah.

Rick: So I'm gonna, I'm gonna add a drum roll here instead of being cheesy. Ready? And coming in at number five. I am a nerd today. I love it though. I [00:36:00] am a nerd. What's the fifth assumption?

Veronica: The fifth assumption is that child free people Have no stress.

I love the reaction.

Rick: No, it's just, can I start this one? Because,

Veronica: wait, because of its level of ridiculousness or what? Yeah,

Rick: only because I, I literally bathe in stress every single day and, and, and it's, and it's not pretty. I think it's my own doing, but it is a total false assumption. I mean, listen, I also think.

You know, as human beings, whatever's happening in your life, some people like me, whether I have kids, I don't have kids, stress tends to find me and, and, and it's, it's only because I let it find me. I understand that I'm working on it, but that shouldn't be an assumption for no matter what your [00:37:00] life is, looks like, you know, stress happens.

It just happens differently. Sure. We don't have the stress of raising children. I totally understand that. And I know there's a million things that comes with having kids and stress. I get that. That's I'm not built for that. Therefore, that's why we're talking here and having this conversation in this place at this time.

For me, every day. It comes with stress. You know, whether it's health, whether it's just your day to day stuff, whether it's work, it's just such a false assumption in the sense that people fill up their time based off what's relative to them. Some people stress, you know, I've had, I've heard of people that don't have kids that, you know, stress about that they don't have enough to do and they're just watching Netflix and that's not healthy and that's not happy.

You're not gonna be happy by just sitting in front of the TV all day. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Or doom scrolling on social media. So I really think it's important that, um, people understand that, like, it's about managing the stress and I work hard [00:38:00] on that. It's really managing the stress, realizing that it's not that deep 99 percent of the time and then mitigating that by going to the gym, uh, you know, meditating, whatever it takes to really kind of Bring down those levels of anxiety and stress and all the stuff that comes with it.

I

Veronica: agree. It's really insane To think that just because someone made the decision not to have children that there's not going to be any stress in their lives I mean we have members of our community like we just talked about with parents who are Sick, whether it's mentally or physically we have People who care take for their siblings.

Uh, we have people that are, uh, have experienced injuries and, uh, haven't been able to do all the things that they want to do. I mean, it just goes on and on the list. of stressors. And I think that [00:39:00] this is just another way of our prenatalist society to try not this, just all these assumptions that we just went through to try to put child free people in a box that were less than.

And I think ultimately that is the goal, right? Because if you put people in a box and you keep telling them that they're less than, Unfortunately, many times they start to believe it, and then they will take the action that you want them to take, right? So if society continues to tell us, we're not responsible, we're just, we're lazy, we're sitting around doing nothing, we have no stress, we are all just spoiled and wealthy and rich, and all of these assumptions, all of, and we're a bunch of baby haters.

Some people may eventually not want to be labeled in that way and say, you know what? I don't want to be seen this way. So therefore I'm going to have a child even though that's not truly what I want for [00:40:00] myself. But I'm just going to do it because I'm tired of feeling this messaging this negativity towards me.

So that's why we're here because we're here to tell you the exact opposite. All these assumptions are a bunch of B. S. Okay.

Rick: Say it like you mean it. I love

Veronica: it. And we're just sick and tired of it. It's just not true. None of this is true. It's to, to put people in a box just because they chose this path, which you and I happen to love and adore and appreciate and live to the fullest as much as we can.

It's just ridiculous. So that's why I wanted to bring up assumptions because I just want to like. You know,

Rick: there you have it. When Veronica gets worked up, you know, it's serious. So I, it's just so

Veronica: frustrating. It's so frustrating. So, um, so yeah, so those are the assumptions that we as choppy people have to deal [00:41:00] with.

Some of us do, some of us don't, but they exist. So even if you've never had to face any of these assumptions, they're lingering, uh, around, uh, not too far away from home. Yeah.

Rick: Um, and I also want to mention, you know, we're new to the podcast game a little bit. So, um, you know, feel free, please, please, if you're enjoying this podcast, we would really, really appreciate a, uh, review.

Um, I don't know how that works. I, I'm a little. Podcast naive when it comes to this stuff, but I hear that that would really help get the message out there. And I say it not just for us. We're not looking, you know, I mean, I love the, the, the, the kind messages and sometimes I find some of the negative ones interesting, but to leave a review and comment on the podcast, it's really about y'all.

It pushes our podcast up and it brings more awareness for everyone to find us and to help and to have these conversations. So it's really not about us, but you know, we, we appreciate it anyway. We're figuring it out as we go here. Yeah, but

Veronica: absolutely, we'd love to hear from [00:42:00] you. We'd love to get a review.

Like Rick said, we're super new at this, but no, I think we're doing okay so far. I think that, yeah, , why not? I think we're doing great. Give us a pat on the back. Uh, I mean, there's just so much to talk about. There's so much to cover and I know that we talked about we're gonna have guests this year, which we still are.

It's just a whole other thing that we're working on. We've had a lot of interest. So, yeah, I think that we're just starting to, this is just blossoming. We're just figuring it out and we're just going to move forward.

Rick: We're just getting started. Yeah, we're just getting started. Exactly. All right. Enough of the radio voice.

Thank you so much. This was fun. Um, it's so great to see you again. I feel like even though we live under the same roof, I am going away for a while, but we'll be back in a couple of weeks and, uh, we'll talk to you all soon. Bye. Bye.