Transcript

The Childfree Connection Plus (Episode 001)
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Rick: All right, we have a podcast. I know. Well, I'm excited. I think we should sing a song about it. Okay, but 

Veronica: we're both terrible, terrible 

Rick: singers. That's even better. The child free connection.

Veronica: Plus. The child free 

Rick: connection. Plus. The child free connection. Child free. Like that? I think we got it. Here we go. Let's do it. Let's do it. Um, all right, good. Cause I'm going to start by saying that this first podcast has been a journey. Just say the least. Oh my God. Okay. So the first time we recorded it, Yeah, 

Veronica: all the way through, by the way.

All the way through. I think we spoke for about an hour 

Rick: or so. Yeah. Veronica's mic was muted. The whole time, the whole time. Yeah, such a rookie move, but it, but it happened. 

Veronica: Yeah. And it happens. I mean, we've done things 

Rick: before and then we just were like, you know what? Let's not do it today. And we took a break and then we came back today, this morning, this morning, and [00:01:00] we started 

Veronica: recording energized and ready to go and excited to do it again.

Rick: Coffee'd up, 

Veronica: ready to go. Excited to do it, 

Rick: all those adjectives or expressions, whatever you call it. And then we're like halfway through and they did a fire alarm test 

Veronica: in our building that lasted, I'm going to say about half an hour. Yeah. 

Rick: And we won't even talk about the times we've had to stop the podcast because our dog Eddie was scratching at the door and it's been a whole thing anyway.

So anyway, episode 001 is. Up and running and it's not episode one. Here's my thought. I added the 001 because I'm optimistic and I'm hoping we get to 100 episodes. 

Veronica: Okay, what if we get to like 

Rick: 1000 and before I also I've seen that on other podcasts. So, oh, is that like 

Veronica: the fancy way to do it? Yeah, I think so.

All right, episode 001. Welcome. Welcome 

Rick: to the Child Free Connection. Yes. [00:02:00] You sounded great. I need to work on my part. So ridiculous. So 

Veronica: ridiculous. Yeah, we're actually, if any of you listening, if anyone's listening. 

Rick: Well, we have a couple of subscribers, early subscribers. Yeah, yeah, that's 

Veronica: true, that's true.

So, uh, we were, we were doing that when we made the trailer and it was so stupid and so ridiculous because we kept going over that. Yeah, we didn't know how to say plus? Was it going to be like plus or plus or 

Rick: plus? Yeah, exactly. But I 

Veronica: think anyway, we figured it out 

Rick: and we're going to talk about what the plus means in a little bit.

But I just, you know, I'm so excited to finally launch this podcast. It's been a long time. Three times a charm. Yes. This is three times a charm. We're recording it. I'm, I'm, I really feel like this one's going to air and I 

Veronica: don't think they say air anymore. Is it because we're old? Is it going to 

Rick: be because 

Veronica: we're old?

Rick: Go live feels like 

Veronica: the uploaded uploaded. [00:03:00] Yeah, whatever it's called. But yeah, we're thinking about like old school like a radio 

Rick: Oh, yeah, that's true. So we'll just jump right in I am Rick. I'm 51 years old We live in Austin, Texas, and it's a hundred and four degrees outside 

Veronica: It is it is it's summer in Austin And it's actually I just read the other day that we're like at day 31 of it being a hundred plus This week is gonna be the same.

So yeah, we are inside We my name is Veronica. I'm 47 years old and we moved to Austin from New York City. I grew up in New York city my whole life, and I am a New York City girl and will ever be at heart. Uh, but we decided to move out of here and I think it has something to do with our age, obviously.

Like we just want it to, for us, we felt like we had squeezed the juice out of New York and we wanted to try something different and slow things down, which I think. Life, at least, maybe not our lives [00:04:00] internally, but at least the outside externally, things are quieter and slower. And we're really appreciating that.

Rick: Yeah, for sure. I do. I mean, especially, you know, as I got older, you know, just the hustle and bustle of New York just started to wear on me and this 

Veronica: has been such a nice. It's a lot. It's a lot. And the thing is, when you're a New Yorker, you don't even know that you're just like in a constant state of panic and go, go, go, uh, until you move out and then you're like, wait, why am I?

I remember when we moved to the first, you know, probably the first six to eight months or so we were rushing around everywhere and we would catch ourselves and stop ourselves from moving so fast and walking so fast because we really didn't have a destination that we had to be at. Yeah. And we both would.

Train ourselves to just relax. We had to 

Rick: slow it down and it's weird. We were rushing around during, you know, COVID when everything was shut down and there was no one doing anything, everyone's inside just, you know, drinking, watching Netflix and we're like running around. [00:05:00] Like it's trying to get like a Tuesday, Tuesday in New York city, you know.

Veronica: Yeah, exactly. So for us, it was the right move. Uh, we just needed to take a break. And who knows how long we'll be here. We plan on being here for a while and see maybe where life takes us next. But for now, we're here. We love it. And it also has a special meaning because we started the child free connection here.

And now we're starting this podcast. And Yeah, it's been great. Yeah, 

Rick: let me set the stage. Um, you can view this podcast on our YouTube channel, but, um, we are for those who aren't watching this, we are shooting this podcast and recording it in our kitchen. Yes. Yes. We live in a very small one bedroom and we're doing it from our kitchen for a couple reasons.

One, we felt like this worked. the best and two, we don't cook. So it's always clean behind us. Just a really weird excuse, but so 

Veronica: it's actually exciting because our kitchen has a purpose. Now it's our, our [00:06:00] makeshift 

Rick: podcast, our 600 square foot apartment has a purpose, our kitchen, at least that part of it.

Um, exactly, exactly. So we're sitting on stools. We've activated our core cause we have no back and we're going to use this as a workout too, but, um, but let's get into it. So I first want to say that. I'm very excited about this podcast for several reasons. Um, but the one thing that we promise from this podcast is full transparency, honesty being unfiltered and you're going to get the real us for sure.

Yes. 

Veronica: Would you agree? 100%. And I think that because we're a bit older and it's true and people would tell me all the time and you read about all the time and When we get into our 60s and 70s and 80s and 90s and whatever, but they've always said that the older you get, the less you care about what other people think [00:07:00] or the less you care about if you're presenting yourself in the right way or what all that stuff that takes up space becomes less and less and less.

And I think that you and I are both in a place where, like, look, this is it. This is who we are. This is what's going on. And you're going to get the good, the bad and the ugly and all 

Rick: that. Yeah, I completely agree, um, that as you get older, you know, you just don't have time to care. I think, yeah, I think that's really what it is.

It's like, you're, you know, you're just in a different phase of your life and you're just focused on things that are more important. Thinking about, I mean, I, you know, I come from a place where I used to care so much about what other people think when I was a lot younger. And, um, as I got older, I can promise those who are younger than us listening to this, that you, it does get easier if, if you're one of those people that struggle with that.

So why don't we share how the child free connection 

Veronica: started? Yeah. So I guess, first of all, we have to say that the child free connection has been around for a few years [00:08:00] and we would originally. What motivated me for this idea was when I posted a picture of me and Eddie on my personal Instagram account, and I remember that I posted around, uh, it was maybe two years or so ago around Mother's Day, and I posted a picture of me and Eddie because I felt like I really wanted to express how I to be his mom and how he wasn't a replacement for a child and how grateful I was for choosing this child free path after, after going through my personal journey of 10 plus years of trying to figure out if this was for me, if I wanted to not have children and yeah, I just wanted to share it with.

And I posted it with zero expectations, or it was just like an honest moment I was having. I remember that post. Yeah. You remember it. And, uh, and, and the response was... Overwhelming. [00:09:00] Oh, yeah, it was really weird. It was just because I wasn't used to getting a lot of response from strangers. It was just usually like friends and family responding and, and co workers and just people that I knew.

And... There was such a response from strangers, but mostly on DMS. And I remember we were in an old apartment and I was sitting on the couch, had a little dim light on, and I was just reading through these messages. And it was women from all over the world telling me that they. felt the same way or that they were hoping to feel that way, that they were still struggling with their decision, that they were tired of people telling them that their pet was a replacement child and, uh, just being really vulnerable and opening up to me.

And. I just felt, I was just kind of like, this is interesting and, and I didn't do anything with it at the time, but I just, it really hit me. It really hit me. And I, and I just made me think of, wow, this is [00:10:00] a, this is a conversation. This is a conversation that needs to be had. 

Rick: Yeah. Yeah. And I remember when you told me and I thought there was some confusion.

I didn't really understand that there was a conversation about. 

Veronica: Exactly. And I think we had a brief conversation about it and then we were all in the pandemic and, and a lot of the focus was on remote learning. And I mean, you and I felt so bad for our friends with kids who had to work and try to teach their, help their kids with school.

It was. It was heartbreaking at times, the stories we were hearing, but there was a specific article, and I can't remember, I think it might've been in the New York Times, that was talking about how parents had to, uh, move away from some of their work tasks to help their kids with school and that child free people were expected to pick up the slack.

And I think that the word expected really, It just didn't sit right with me because I [00:11:00] understood and of course we are more than happy to help parents during this situation during this time. Yeah. And but the idea and the concept that child free people have nothing else going on in their life or other responsibilities or mental health issues or just.

Uh, anything that they were required to do this because, well, they don't have kids. So what else is going on? Right. So that didn't sit right with me. And I know that we had that conversation too. And 

Rick: I understood that. I mean, I was listening to a lot of my friends during that time when the pandemic was, was, was, you know, when it was really.

Starting at the beginning, right? March, April, even May of 2020. And my friends were just like confused on how to handle their children on a day to day basis because they were in this routine. So I remember relating to that part. Cause I was hearing a lot from my friends about that. 

Veronica: Yeah. So it was just, um, I felt [00:12:00] like there was a lack of balance between support and expectation.

And I think also because it was a pandemic and a lot of us had more time than normal. It, I mean, you saw all the books I got. I mean, they were like, I was covered in them on the floor. Yeah. You dove head deep into this topic because I think the reason was because I thought in my. Mind for whatever reason I look back and I don't know why I bought this but I thought okay I had gone through such trauma turmoil and such and It was just it was just a hard journey for me.

And I thought well, this was you know, I'm older now I'm 47. This was during like my 20s early to mid 30s and actually even later And, and I was thinking to myself, young women cannot possibly be dealing with all the crap that I was dealing with. [00:13:00] And then the more I started reading, the more I started researching, it had really not moved forward so much from when I was experiencing it myself.

And that I think was really the final straw of me saying like, okay. This is enough is enough. I'm ready to speak out on it. Although it took me a little while because I was a little like okay, and this is the mindset that a lot of you may be in or have experienced at this point at some point to say like Okay, we're going to start this account about the fact that we don't have kids and of course I thought about like What is my mom gonna say?

What is my sister gonna say? What is your family gonna say like why are they bothering to do this? Who cares 

Rick: and we and I just want to say that I felt like we got some of that like it was a bit It was confusion. I mean if I was confused, obviously, I think our surrounding family was Like 

Veronica: what 

Rick: are you doing?

Yeah[00:14:00] 

Veronica: Yeah, it was almost like, okay, good luck with that. Um, so I had to let go of all of that, right? Because I, I said to myself, Oh, I'm doing what other women are doing, right? I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm basing a decision on what other people's reaction is going to be. And I remember talking to you about it and saying like, if, if that's how I'm going into it, or we're going into it, then.

That's it. Then it's pointless, right? Because we have to go into it saying, like, we're going to be honest, we're going to really show and say what this choppy lifestyle is like without the worry of what what our families or our friends think. And I don't know. I know that you were concerned about that, too.

Yeah, 

Rick: well, I mean, I thought of it as, you know, when you were saying you're, you know, are you prepared to be in front of camera? And I've been, that was, you know, I'm a producer and I'm used to being behind the camera. That's what I do. And I was my, you know, I offered up my services. It's like, why don't I just create all the content and [00:15:00] you run with this?

Because again, at the beginning, I really didn't get it. You know, I didn't really understand. Yeah. You didn't 

Veronica: know why people would want to hear from people who don't have children. Right. Yeah. Yeah, and, and also our personal journeys were so different, which we'll talk about later. But I think that that's where your confusion stem from.

Like, why would anyone want to 

Rick: talk about this anymore? You really did a good job in defining what the child free connection was going to be all about. All right. So tell everyone how you came up with the core intention of what the child free connection was going to be about. 

Yeah, 

Veronica: well, we came up with it, right?

We sat down together. 

Rick: It took a little while. We were really like wrapping our heads around. I know and you did an amazing job. You did so much market research and really figuring out exactly what this should be for us. Yeah. And you know, I commend you on that. I mean, that was a lot. And I watched some of that market research.

But why don't you go into exactly what that process was about and let everyone know? Yeah. And 

Veronica: I yeah. I think for [00:16:00] us it was important and even for me, and I knew it would be important for you to just be really clear on, I mean, to the conversation has been going on for a long time, right? But like, what could we add to it?

And I thought that there was a lot that we could add to it. And the first thing that we both said off the bat was connection because we had spoken to so many people. And in my market research, there was so. There was such a lack of community with other child free people. Um, and people just said, I don't have any child free friends.

I don't know any child free people. I feel isolated. I feel alone. I feel like an outcast. All my friends are having kids and I'm not being included. If I'm included, I don't really want to be there because all they do is talk about their kids. So connection was... The first word that we both agreed was really necessary, which that's why it ends up being the Chalfie Connection because we felt so strongly about that.

Rick: Yeah, [00:17:00] connection was the first thing that really made a lot of sense to me, you know, because I was personally experiencing that. I mean, as my friends were, you know, having kids, I felt more isolated and my social life started to take a downturn. And I struggled with that. It was really hard for me, you know, so I just assumed this is the way it happens is your friends have kids and I'm not, I don't have kids and you know, this is what the cards that I'm dealt and I kind of looked down on myself.

It was not good. You know, I was in a bad place. So when you said we're going to call it the child free connection, I'm like, this is great. I'm going to get to meet other people that share similar, you know, don't have kids and we can share similar experiences and what our life Day to day looks like. Yeah.

And 

Veronica: at the time we didn't really know how exactly we were going to do it. Uh, we just were like, let's do it. And I remember, um, specifically during that time, someone had actually quite [00:18:00] a few people were saying like, what is it? What is it? Like, what is it exactly? What is, what are you going to create? What are you going to, like, there were so many questions coming at us and we were like, we don't know.

We don't know. We don't know. 

Rick: We're like, we don't 

Veronica: know. We're going to figure it out. But 

Rick: that's the best process in my opinion. You know, when you, when you go in with like, this is exactly what I, what I'm going to do. I mean, there's that old expression, you know, you make plans and the universe laughs, you know, it's just like, yeah, you got it.

It needed to kind of organically happen. 

Veronica: Yeah. We definitely didn't have all that. And then the second thing that we wanted to do, but this actually, I guess if you want to call it a plan, our plan was. Um, just setting intentions, right? Because we did do that at the beginning. So it was to connect people.

And the second intention that we set was to support. And that one was just really meaningful, deep in my heart, because I personally experienced Uh, lack of support while I was making this decision. And I also knew that, [00:19:00] you know, after my market research that so many people needed it. So that was really important to us to support others.

Yeah. 

Rick: I love the approach that you had, you know, you really wanted to find out, you spent the time. Talking to folks all over the world, I should mention this isn't just in a, you know, small circle everywhere. You put it out there on, on social and got a bunch of responses and you spend hours talking to them and really getting, you know, the good and the bad of this lifestyle and what that looks like.

And, um, yeah, I mean, really, that's. You know, all of the, all of our intentions and what we're doing is coming from those conversations, which is, which is really interesting, you know, when I look back on it, because I remember watching a lot of these conversations and that you shared with me and just, I was, you know, at times I was laughing, I was, you know, there were times where I watched someone, I was like, wow, I totally feel that way.

And I could, it was very relatable. And then there were times where I was crying because there's a lot of people that there are challenges with this lifestyle [00:20:00] and that's why we created the support. Part of the child free connection. Yeah. And I really understood what you meant by support after you shared what people were going through, you know, it was, it was a really eyeopening for 

Veronica: me.

Yeah, exactly. Because there is a huge part, there's a big percentage of people that there's the people that have known really early that they don't want to have kids and. That's fabulous for them and there's people that know really that want to be parents and that's fabulous for them, but there's a whole sea of people in the middle that don't have a lot of clarity and even if you're leaning towards a child free life, there's a lot of.

Things to work through and reflect on. Um, so yeah, and then we also, because we love and have so much gratitude for our child free life, we wanted to make sure that we were going to celebrate it and celebrate ourselves, celebrate our lifestyle, celebrate the people that we brought into this community and just, [00:21:00] um, yeah.

Yeah. 

Rick: And in this podcast, um, we're going to really discuss why it's important to celebrate this child for each. 

Veronica: It definitely is. Absolutely. And the important thing is that we added the plus, which is, uh, the heart of this podcast, because we're always going to have the celebration and the support, uh, and the connection in our space and in this community.

But the plus was pivotal for us to add to that, 

Rick: right? Well, for me, it was. You know, and this was a big revelation when we had our in person event here in Austin when you're talking to other child free people, it's interesting. I, you know, I didn't, I went in with really no expectations on what that event was going to be like, and I did was like, are we going to sit around and talk about not having kids and all that other stuff?

And it was the opposite of that. You know, we just, we all got into a room and we just had a great time discussing about what we do individually with our time. Now that we don't have the responsibility [00:22:00] of a child and they aligned in so many ways. And I found that fascinating. And that's when I really started like we need to, we need to create a podcast and talk about what this life path looks like, shine a light on it and really explore because there are so some.

Because there are so many similarities that I, that were very unexpected for me. I did not think that I would connect, no pun intended, with, you know, so many child free people so easily. And to me, that was fascinating. Yeah, there was 

Veronica: such a flow in the way, um, and by the way, It's it was a party. It was a celebration.

Yeah, it wasn't like a conference and a room or anything like that. It was a celebration and we and and to your point, it was so easy. Obviously, we were worried like are people going to talk to each other? Are they not? But it was effortless, really. We didn't have to do [00:23:00] anything. It was just mingled and started talking immediately and got along immediately.

And it was just so easy. And yeah, I mean, I agree with you, the commonalities. The interest, the way that we view life, uh, the way that we want to work on ourselves, work on our relationships. So all that is different when you don't have kids. So that's what we really want to explore. 

Rick: Yeah, that was my aha moment.

That really was, it was like. Oh, I got it. You know, I can really understand why being in a community and having friends and connecting with people that are child free, why it's so important to my own personal happiness. And I think it's important that you build up that community as you go along through life at any age.

If you start building up a community. You've made that choice not to have children. You want to have other people in your life because you don't have your traditional family there. You know, um, you can [00:24:00] have your, you know, your mom and your dad and so on and so forth. But I think it's really important that you become part of a community.

And I really felt like I had found my tribe at that point. You know, it was like, wow, this is, this is fun for me. And I'm more of an introvert, as you know. So for, for me to be in that space, in that, at that event. In that celebration and be able to flow so naturally was was really an eye opening experience for me.

So, 

Veronica: so there's another thing we want to share and we've talked about it and we want to lead by example because we do it sometimes as well. It slips in there and we want to freely speak without having to say, but of course, we love children, but of course, we respect parents. That's a given. But. Everything under the sun, because I do feel that by always have to justifying by always having [00:25:00] to explain what you mean, it takes away from our power of being child free, because it lessens it lessens the pride, because we're saying, Oh, yeah, we're child free.

But, you know, maybe we'll change our minds later or, but maybe I'll adopt later. But, you know, I, my friend, I have nieces and nephews and I, you know, we, it's, it's very common for people to do that. I mean, 

Rick: the butt trap or something, which is a horrible expression. I

Veronica: call it the butt trap. Um, I've done videos on it before. So I want to try to not do that here. So. If a parent is listening for whatever reason, we are, we are speaking to the child free community in this podcast and we don't want to have to continuously say, but this, but that, because we have nothing but love and [00:26:00] respect for people's choices.

We strongly believe that everyone should do what is best for them and what feels good to them. So. So yeah, there it is. We're not 

Rick: going to bring it up ever again. Episode 001. And then we 

Veronica: move on. So we don't say but this and this and that it's there. It exists. Yes. We just don't want to say it every time because we also want to, like I said, lead by example and know that it's okay to express our opinions and our voice without having to justify it with a 

Rick: bot.

So why don't we tell everyone how we met and how we ended up living a child free life as a couple. And I want to start by saying that we've known each other for 25 years, but we've only been together for seven, which is a very interesting story. It is. Why don't you 

Veronica: begin? Sure. So I graduated college in 97 and at the time I [00:27:00] went straight to work for MTV and my internships had all been in television.

So I knew that's what I wanted to do. But at that time I guess MTV now is known more for like reality shows or I don't know. I don't even know But at the time it was the place to work it was all Music videos. It was all about music and I just I mean I would Watch it when I was a kid and I just thought it was the coolest thing that people actually worked there and that that was their job.

So I came in really excited and when I started working, you had already been there for like a year or two. 

Rick: Yeah, I, um, I got my internship right out of college and I had been there, uh, started in 95. Okay. So you 

Veronica: have been there a little while. And you came in in 97. Yeah, exactly. So, yeah, I just started working and the first year or so I was an assistant to the person that you reported to.

That's [00:28:00] right. Right? Oh, I remember. And the same floor, and we saw each other all the time. Yeah. 

Rick: Well, I remember your first... Day when you walked in and I know this sounds like a cheesy love story, but it is true. You walked in and I was just like, it was like the wind was blowing through your hair. You were so different.

You were this New York city girl. You know, I went to, I was raised in Virginia and I went to school in North Carolina and I'd never been to New York prior to my internship at MTV. So I was working as an intern or actually I was working as a producer at that point. And you came in and I was just like.

Who's that girl and you've 

Veronica: shared that with me before and it's it's funny But you've also shared that you would come by my desk for no reason and just come to try to talk to me And do you 

Rick: remember that by the way when I would do what no 

Veronica: Your strategy was off. Like I'm not even sure what your 

Rick: first person in that My strategy was I had zero game and my strategy at the time to get to know you was bring you my time card And at the time, that's what you did.

You had time cards you filled out [00:29:00] and that's how we got paid and bringing my time card and ask questions about my time card. Like, Hey, did I sign in the right place? Like that was my game. It was so bad. And you'd be like, yeah, that's where you sign. You did a good job. Good. See you later.

Veronica: Yeah, I mean, and as the years went by. I, I, I mean, I don't think anyone would know that you're flirting with them by the way that you approached me 

Rick: in my head. I thought this was a good idea. 

Veronica: Yeah, exactly. And then as the years went by, then after I was an assistant, as I got promoted, I moved over to the talent department and I was the on air talent manager and you were a producer and the show called TRL, which at the time was huge.

It was this. Live video countdown show that kids ran home to watch every day. And we were in the middle of Times Square and every day there would be like tons of kids outside with signs because we would have these amazing artists, right? Come every day and perform. We had [00:30:00] celebrities. It was a crazy, crazy, crazy time, but we worked on that show together and we worked on other shows together and we were traveling all the time because we were doing spring breaks in Cancun.

We were doing packing up and doing beach houses, so we were in each other's paths. But I can, I can't say that at any point I mean, I

Rick: really. didn't come. I didn't flirt with you is the way I thought I was flirting with. Right, right. 

Veronica: Exactly. So nothing came of it. And I had a boyfriend at the time. And I was also this like, New York City girl. I loved going to clubs at the time. I was super into fashion. And you 

Rick: were like leather skirts and fishnet stockings.

And you'd come in and you'd be like, I was at the club last night. And meanwhile, I'm like, I wore 

Veronica: stockings to work. Put it past me either. So maybe Yeah, yeah. [00:31:00] Yeah. 

Rick: But anyway, yeah. And I was very different. You know, I was a 

Veronica: Yeah, you were like in cargo shorts and like, uh, you know, whatever your, your vibe was 

Rick: at the time.

Even I knew at that point, like, we are so different. I don't know what my in is because I can't dance. 

Veronica: Right. I can't. I went dancing almost every 

Rick: night. Yeah. I couldn't. Yeah. It was, it was, I could see the writing on the wall that it was going to be a tough 

Veronica: Yes, so we went our separate paths. I have no clue that you were interested, but because at the time our, our coworkers, we, we were in the trenches with this job.

We were all kids. It was the height. Um, well, not the height MTV had very, had a lot of heights, but it was just a big. Moment in time, especially with TRL. So we all became very close and we would have these reunions, not every year necessarily, but every few years, sometimes every year and we [00:32:00] would see each other.

Yeah. 

Rick: Yeah. Yeah. And we would flirt here and there. And then I also had bad strategy at that point where I would think like, let me have a couple of drinks and then I'll come over to you and I'll flirt. And I just remember that was just an epic fail as well. 

Veronica: Yeah. And I don't know if I would even say that we were flirting at the time.

I think we were just having conversations again. You were coming over to me to flirt, but I wasn't really picking up on that. And also we were in relationships. I got married, you were almost engaged and you got into another very long term relationship. So we got together and we always just had a really good time together when we were talking and hanging out.

Um, but you know, life happened. We went our separate ways. And sometimes that's just the way it goes. I 

Rick: think the whole thing was, even though we weren't quote unquote flirting, or you didn't think we were flirting. I thought we were flirting. I was doing whatever it took to stay out of the friend zone. So when the opportunity presented itself, right.

We took it. I, I, well, yeah, that it would be open. That there would [00:33:00] be, so I was like, I don't want to be friends with her, but I. You know, but 

Veronica: yes, and then we have this reunion and you didn't come and you almost always came and I almost always 

Rick: went and by the way, I went to those reunions to see if you were there.

And that is true story. 

Veronica: Okay, so we did it. Um, I actually didn't believe any of this when you told me, but it was confirmed when we started dating and one of someone on your team had said that they would I'm going to walk into your office and you would have my Facebook page open and 

Rick: you'd be like, Oh my gosh, I mean, we said we're not, we're going to be honest and now I'm like a total stalker, but it's true, like 

Veronica: definite stalker vibes.

Rick: Well, yeah. When Facebook came out and when we were having these reunions and Facebook came out, I remember being so excited because I was able to, you know, you friended me and then I realized you had a picture of us from 1997 up on your Facebook page. One of the three pictures that you had at the time in my head, 

Veronica: I'm like clear, it was a.

photo album of maybe around 40 [00:34:00] pictures and you happen to be one of them. 

Rick: I saw three, but we'll just agree to disagree. Please don't ruin my dream that you were focused on. Okay, 

Veronica: so I put up the picture of us on Facebook. 

Rick: You made it your background. My picture of me and you. 

Veronica: So anyway, that's when I was like, Oh, wow, this guy's It's not necessarily lying to me when you started telling me like, no, I've been pursuing you my entire 

Rick: life.

And ask any of our friends. Even now you can ask them, I would always say when the reunions were happening, is Veronica going to be there? Yeah. That was like my go to comment. Do you know Veronica is coming to the party? Right. That was true. That's true. I don't even know if you, I don't think we've ever been talked about that.

No, I don't think so either. You can ask. 

Veronica: So I guess we'll say you were stalking me for a long time and, um, and then there was a reunion that you didn't come to. And at the time Instagram had launched and I believe they were, I hadn't. DM hadn't fully rolled out, but it [00:35:00] had, it was fairly new, right? And I was very much into testing every tool that came out as far as social media is concerned.

Cause actually that's what I ended up doing. I became a social media consultant, but I had DM'd you and I had, and I said, Oh, why didn't you come to this last reunion? And that's how we started to chat. And you didn't know that what a DM feature was. And that wasn't, you know, people still weren't sure about the platform.

So you just.

And I was just asking him like, Oh, we should get together and catch up since we didn't get to talk to each other at the reunion. And you said, well, being that I'm single and I don't have kids and I can do what I want whenever I want, like it's up to you because I'm there. And I said, well, being that I'm single, I don't have kids and I can do what I want whenever I want.

I'm free too. And your response was like, what? With like, question marks, exclamation points, like stars, bursts, happy [00:36:00] faces. And then immediately before I even got to answer you, you said, Oh, I'm sorry. Are you okay? Yeah, 

Rick: well, I just did not want the opera. Like I said, Yeah. I feel like I was just waiting for that opportunity.

Right. And finally 20 Yeah. Years later or whatever. Yeah. You know, it came and so I wanted to take advantage of it, but I, I didn't take your feelings and, and I apologize for that. No, 

Veronica: no. It was really sweet. I thought it was really cute. So anyway, we made a bunch date and we've been together ever since, ever since seven years ago.

Yeah. It just clicked. And on our first date, we decided that because I was, I turned 40 when we were already dating. So I was 39. It was a few months before that we started dating and we made it a point to be completely honest with each other, like anything. Cause we were both like hot messes. We both said it at the same time.

No, that's so true. At the time, and we still, to this day, have a lot to work on ourselves and our leadership and everything, [00:37:00] but we were both very open and I think we were both just at the point like, look, this is what's going on. Take it or leave it. Like, I'm not trying to. Spin a different story for you necessarily.

So on our first date We had we went back to your place to hang out and we had what we called the truth couch And we took turns on the truth couch and the other person could ask the person on the truth couch Anything any question anything that you've ever wanted to know from the past anything that you wanted to know about the time we were apart So um, so yeah that came up and you asked If I wanted to have children and I said, absolutely not.

Yeah, and it was only recently that I found out you told me this like, like two months ago or something that I found out that when I said I didn't want kids, you thought in your mind what? 

Rick: So I thought that. Well, let me just back it up. So, you know, I had been in a bunch [00:38:00] of relationships. I had been in a bunch of relationships where they had told me that they don't want kids.

And then as a relationship progressed, like a year or so after, they'd be like, you know, I want children. So that had happened to me several times. Um, not all my relationships, but some of them. And so I made an assumption like, okay, she doesn't want kids now, but in a year she's probably going to want some kids.

So That's I know I never really told you that until recently, but it's just really 

Veronica: funny because it's like to for me to think that someone's thinking, Oh, she doesn't really know what I've had, like 15 years of self discovery, just really diving into this decision and being like, really solid at it by the time that we met.

But it's completely understandable. I understand what you're saying. Like, all right, maybe, but not really. So yeah, so we ended up We're living this child free life and there's so much to talk about. There's so much that we've learned. There's so much that we want to share and yeah, we hope that you take that ride with us.

And this is the [00:39:00] place to do it. Yeah, absolutely. So thank you so much. We finally got through episode 001. Finally, we finally did it. And, uh, yeah, we, uh, hope y'all enjoyed it and we'll see you next time.